God send His son to bring salvation in order to love us for eternity...
i'm simply blown away
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
back from Historymakers 6ix and just so full of the love of Christ. I just seal the work done in camp by the blood of Jesus and pray that God will make this camp real in my life. camp doesn't end until the next camp begins... i'm so excited for the blessings that God will bring in 2007
I'll stand, with arms high
And heart abandoned
In awe, of the one who gave it all...
i'm just so amazed at what God has done in my life... and i believe the work done in this camp will be a milestone in my walk with God. before camp i was sort of bordering on the verge of being sick and just wishing i could crawl away and hide from all the strife between my parents and the stress in their office. but i just told God: i am excited about camp, maybe apprehensive, but i know that it is going to be a wonderful experience, so daddy God, i thank you that i am healed and i can enjoy the camp to the fullest.
so i went for camp. feeling empty in and of myself, but just expectant... and God did not disappoint. it's so amazing, even before camp i found out Joscelin was my camp group leader (yes our lovely national swimmer =D), and it made me inexplicably happy to know that i wasn't gonna be under jia hao (he's such an anointed cg leader but i didn't feel that it would be right)
DAY 1
took the bus up to KL meeting the rest of the campers at 730 am with all of 4 hours sleep and a hectic emotional useless free makeover the day before that took up my packing time. [and plagued by the ulcers on my tongue and lip that didn't want to go away] on the journey up... somehow i couldn't stop thinking of my uni apps and the deadlines... which i hadn't even started writing essays on. by the prompting of God perhaps, i decided to shelve those thoughts and all memories of the strife at home and just enjoy camp. so i was pretty happy when i reached the hotel and sat through the briefing.
met my roomie joanna, a really blessed woman of God and stoned together with hweifen waiting for our room key which didn't want to come, washed up, watched polar express and bonded heh. then came service. man it was powerful! Pastor called for those whose heart rang at the word 'restoration' and i went up. i was just standing there with my eyes closed, happily drowning in the love of God when someone (i think coach maddy) started praying for me. she said that God was taking away the bitterness and giving me joy. the other thing was to not try to do what is God's to do and bar the thought that 'i am not good enough'. it just set me free... it was like God was removing the scars in my life. my first reaction was 'got meh?' but as i thought about it i found areas in my life that i had just pushed to one side, things too painful to remember - the hurtful things spoken into my life, the condemnation, trying to keep my parents civil to one another, the doubt of whether they would divorce and the bitterness at all i had encountered, the wishing i could have grown up as someone else. at the end of that i was just crying, knowing that God was not just loving me into wholeness or piecing me together like He did the last few camps, but He was putting the 'finishing touch', kind of like refurbishment, i was complete and new. it was just so amazing... and knowing that God knows me far better than i know myself there is such assurance and safety.
then came the message which was awesome... but what struck me the most was this one-liner. Don't focus on the question but the answer - and the answer is always JESUS. the whole session just really made me rest in Him and just go 'i want more Lord'...
then came 'breakout' where the cg just met and shared. it was really powerful, the presence of God was with us even in the hotel room and people were sharing amazing things that happened in service, like michael being healed of heart palpitations and never needing to fear if he would die in his sleep again. Jos shared too... and was really personal about it, saying how it was difficult to be open - it really encouraged me, with one of my camp expectations being the courage to love and be vulnerable. at that moment i decided that i would share what God has done in my life with the people at camp, no matter what it took... and the agreement in the spirit was so strong. but i didnt get the chance that night.
DAY 2
i was serving for the morning service, woke up early, hung around =P. one thing about video is that all the action happens around you and you want to join in but you can't. at one point pastor just released the leaders to go into the crowd and pray for people, at the same time calling forward the people who wanted to serve full-time some day. and there i was filming people crying, getting slain, people totally lost in worship and wondering what in the world i was doing behind the camera. then God reminded me of the different portion for servers and i got swept up in the anointing... staying alert strangely and wonderfully enough... it was like i was being lifted up on wings and flying with the camera...
message was on right believing produces right thinking - big task... but just start small with giving thanks for what you have. i just know that in this service though nothing much was really an impact on my life, God removed so many yokes from people's lives and put joy in their place. I just sensed throughout the service that bondages were being removed and people begin to stand on victory ground as they heard the word and believed... such a work was done and i was just privileged to be aware of it as a server...
lunch... more sharing... then GAMES!
shared the duty with hweifen... didnt do much for the first game... detective thing with a very very very good and obscure plot! then i was a 'horse' in the pool for the people on top to whack each other off with floats... then wet me swapped with hwei to do camera duty hehe... so i missed the dirty games. and boy was it dirty! relay: turn round 10 times, crawl along a slippery mat holding a cup of water, jump around in a gunny sack, eat an item from the breakfast table (sausages, ham, soya sauce, french toast, juice etc.), smear on honey/ maple syrup onto face, blow flour away and pick a polo sweet up in mouth... and finally you're done. lol. zj was so gungho that he smeared all the honey from our group's plate... over his nose and all. euch.
didnt really get to see my group playing the other games as i ran off to film random groups at the other stations... but the games comm was ingenious! charades... to answer, roll on the floor towards me then whisper the answer in my ear. strange wet game... hold a bucket of water (full) with your toes and turn it around/ sing a song etc. and 'table soccer' which i didnt get to see or film. oops.
3rd service
(gosh this is a really long post... )
i actually thought the flow was weird... there was worship... which sort of wound down instead of winding up... then pastor started preaching about ministry (in 3 areas, evangelism, mission, community) and the hunger for the word and the discipline to obey the hunger and put aside time to seek God. i thought it was rather strange... like it wasn't really my portion to do that kind of thing. my spirit agreed with evangelism but not the rest, and even then it wasnt like [yes! that's how i'll serve] and the message itself was aimed at people not already serving.
what came after was a shocker... we continued worship and God's presence was really strong when pastor suddenly called all the leaders to the front and set them loose to pray upon our calling and destiny. gosh it was amazing watching the line of leaders advance towards us... i was standing there wishing i was holding a vid cam. one of the leaders cut through the crowd (like 5 lines of people) in front of where i was standing and started praying for jofid beside me... at that point i went to catch jo (automatic response heh.) when anna cut through with this really purposeful look and grabbed me. what she said over me was just so amazing (and private... until it happens. amen) and it was totally absurd and crazy. my mind is still denying it but my spirit totally agreed when she was prophesying. i still cant comprehend the enormity of it all.
we had a really short breakout session this time... didnt get a chance to share either cos jiahao was talking to much ;) but one thing stuck: to expect even more from Him and to pull down the anointing. at that point i just believed, God, show me just how good you are, i can't imagine it getting any better than this, but Lord just fill me to the overflowing... and if there's too little space left, just make space in me.
DAY 3
breakfast. strangely enough i started talking to bryan (anointed guy, man) and shared that i wanted to share... strangely perhaps cos i felt that i wouldn't ever volunteer anything even though the desire to share was so strong. i said that one of my camp expectations was to be given the courage to be vulnerable... and this was a step that i was being led to take. what he said really encouraged me... in that taking the first step was always the hardest, but God would make it easier.. that hey, even saying that was an act of being vulnerable. it was a shock, realising that it really was... and sort of gave me more courage to share.
4th session. no sermon for this one, just worship... amazing worship. zhengkai released me to just 'enjoy myself' instead of taking footage... thinking back. i'm really really glad i wasn't serving. God's presence was so strong in the room... at one point someone brushed past me and i was just slain, found out later that it was an usher and that jem ran to try to catch me. he didnt quite succeed but i sorta floated down (it's really true, what wei heng said to the ushers in dare... don't worry if you fail to catch a person, God makes sure they don't get hurt). it was different this time in a subtle way... i was shaking... and sort of being cleansed... at the same time whatever was spoken over me the day before was being reaffirmed.
when i got up... it felt like i had already been prayed for, like i had received my portion and more... i realised hwei was the one who nearly fell on top of me (thank God for that. heh) and that amanda was manning the center cam. pastor chin was moving around praying for everyone and it felt wrong... that she shouldnt go up to receive. so i took her place for a while - i think it was a life changing thing. hm. it's hard to find words to describe the inexplicable. later on it suddenly occured to me that i hadn't been prayed for although i was filled. i just thought to God: make space in me Lord for a double portion, i want to get prayed for by pastor. someone asked me if i had been prayed for and i somehow got pushed to the front.
it was unexpected. pastor didnt say a word. but i just went over when he laid his hand on me. the anointing too was different. i was just at peace, warm (the ballroom was really really cold) and talking to my Daddy being affirmed, reassured, loved. ask me the 'how do you know God exists' question... and i still can't answer you, but i know beyond a doubt that He does, He gave me a reason to live. it was surprising to say the least, as an usher i've seen people fall backwards, forwards, move like 5 metres from where they were standing somehow, seen people just fall, ushers fall while catching, people crying, laughing, rolling around, people whom you could feel fire emnating off and people who looked like they were asleep. the people 'asleep' always left the most lasting impression on me cos they were just lost in Him, like with the emotions disconnected. i feel privileged... to have had such a touch from Him.
when i was on the floor i could hear people on my left bawling and someone on my right screaming like she was fighting 10 guys. each sound was like a spear through the heart, sort of a mix between what i was feeling and a glimpse of how much God loves us. at that point in time there was a very clear voice going 'hear that? i will build you up to touch the lives of people like that' it was so amazing to hear my dream confirmed as a destiny... pastor said earlier, God puts the desire in your heart and makes it possible - God wrote your destiny. there was such buildup and confirmation this camp.
we were then released for shopping... didnt go, spent time with the cg over lunch and just hung around instead =) the Bangi burger was BEEG and GOOD lol. and so was the pizza =D i think i underpaid for food but the money worked out somehow =P. then we prepared for the night event.
Campus superstar
was serving again... at the same time as hwei this time, both recording and doing the live feed of the performance. man the costumes for streetwear were so cool! there was zj's caregrp that took streetwear in london winter, the SMU group that took it as street wear, with paul twohill with a hill roadsign, orchard road, dutch road etc. my cg that was wonderfully cheapo with a red tie and hat and the NUS cg that came with painted faces (white black red. v. scary!). performances included singing, dance, strange thing with 'penguins' doing the happy feet thing. really good entertainment. too bad i watched most of it through the LCD cam screen. heh. didnt know that i was supposed to take footage of everything that was shown on the feed (sorry zhengkai). it was so so fun! though half the time i was praying 'God make them turn the feed to a different cam!' half the time cos i was stuck in really weird positions trying to avoid the photographers/ judges table/ corner of the stage/ moving lights/ people standing up trying to see with me blocking.
worship after that was just wild... haha i dont know where all the energy came from =) it ended at 1am plus... and people kept going acapella when the band stopped. i'm blessed to be part of this ministry where God is doing GREAT things and people are just so on fire for Him. it's cooler than anything else on earth that i can imagine. pastor let off the curfew 'sleep early' thing and the cg met at 2am to share and pig out and stuff. Jem shared about what went on in camp and was so open to the point that when jia hao was just waiting for the next person after saying that it would be the last i just jumped in and started sharing my walk with God and how He built me up from brokenness. I could feel Him holding me up through the whole sharing so i could keep on going and stay focused instead of going to pieces. heh. we ended at 6 am and went back to our rooms... talked with hwei till 7 + am when joanna came back from her cg, finally went to take a bath and came out to discover hwei snoring away ^^ then talked with joanna till 8 30 before i fell asleep to wake up at 9 for breakfast. heh.
DAY 4
back to singapore! sorta had breakfast, hung around, talked to people then got on the bus. had an attempt at worship with me/ joel playing random songs on the guitar... qing fei de yi somehow had the most response although it wasnt quite a worship song (understatement of the day) then kenneth took over and we just praised God for 1 hr plus while being bounced around in the bus. it was like icing on a cake, to top off the end of camp instead of being k.o. for 4 hours.
God is moving... God is moving...
Can you hear the sound of Revival?
I'll stand, with arms high
And heart abandoned
In awe, of the one who gave it all...
i'm just so amazed at what God has done in my life... and i believe the work done in this camp will be a milestone in my walk with God. before camp i was sort of bordering on the verge of being sick and just wishing i could crawl away and hide from all the strife between my parents and the stress in their office. but i just told God: i am excited about camp, maybe apprehensive, but i know that it is going to be a wonderful experience, so daddy God, i thank you that i am healed and i can enjoy the camp to the fullest.
so i went for camp. feeling empty in and of myself, but just expectant... and God did not disappoint. it's so amazing, even before camp i found out Joscelin was my camp group leader (yes our lovely national swimmer =D), and it made me inexplicably happy to know that i wasn't gonna be under jia hao (he's such an anointed cg leader but i didn't feel that it would be right)
DAY 1
took the bus up to KL meeting the rest of the campers at 730 am with all of 4 hours sleep and a hectic emotional useless free makeover the day before that took up my packing time. [and plagued by the ulcers on my tongue and lip that didn't want to go away] on the journey up... somehow i couldn't stop thinking of my uni apps and the deadlines... which i hadn't even started writing essays on. by the prompting of God perhaps, i decided to shelve those thoughts and all memories of the strife at home and just enjoy camp. so i was pretty happy when i reached the hotel and sat through the briefing.
met my roomie joanna, a really blessed woman of God and stoned together with hweifen waiting for our room key which didn't want to come, washed up, watched polar express and bonded heh. then came service. man it was powerful! Pastor called for those whose heart rang at the word 'restoration' and i went up. i was just standing there with my eyes closed, happily drowning in the love of God when someone (i think coach maddy) started praying for me. she said that God was taking away the bitterness and giving me joy. the other thing was to not try to do what is God's to do and bar the thought that 'i am not good enough'. it just set me free... it was like God was removing the scars in my life. my first reaction was 'got meh?' but as i thought about it i found areas in my life that i had just pushed to one side, things too painful to remember - the hurtful things spoken into my life, the condemnation, trying to keep my parents civil to one another, the doubt of whether they would divorce and the bitterness at all i had encountered, the wishing i could have grown up as someone else. at the end of that i was just crying, knowing that God was not just loving me into wholeness or piecing me together like He did the last few camps, but He was putting the 'finishing touch', kind of like refurbishment, i was complete and new. it was just so amazing... and knowing that God knows me far better than i know myself there is such assurance and safety.
then came the message which was awesome... but what struck me the most was this one-liner. Don't focus on the question but the answer - and the answer is always JESUS. the whole session just really made me rest in Him and just go 'i want more Lord'...
then came 'breakout' where the cg just met and shared. it was really powerful, the presence of God was with us even in the hotel room and people were sharing amazing things that happened in service, like michael being healed of heart palpitations and never needing to fear if he would die in his sleep again. Jos shared too... and was really personal about it, saying how it was difficult to be open - it really encouraged me, with one of my camp expectations being the courage to love and be vulnerable. at that moment i decided that i would share what God has done in my life with the people at camp, no matter what it took... and the agreement in the spirit was so strong. but i didnt get the chance that night.
DAY 2
i was serving for the morning service, woke up early, hung around =P. one thing about video is that all the action happens around you and you want to join in but you can't. at one point pastor just released the leaders to go into the crowd and pray for people, at the same time calling forward the people who wanted to serve full-time some day. and there i was filming people crying, getting slain, people totally lost in worship and wondering what in the world i was doing behind the camera. then God reminded me of the different portion for servers and i got swept up in the anointing... staying alert strangely and wonderfully enough... it was like i was being lifted up on wings and flying with the camera...
message was on right believing produces right thinking - big task... but just start small with giving thanks for what you have. i just know that in this service though nothing much was really an impact on my life, God removed so many yokes from people's lives and put joy in their place. I just sensed throughout the service that bondages were being removed and people begin to stand on victory ground as they heard the word and believed... such a work was done and i was just privileged to be aware of it as a server...
lunch... more sharing... then GAMES!
shared the duty with hweifen... didnt do much for the first game... detective thing with a very very very good and obscure plot! then i was a 'horse' in the pool for the people on top to whack each other off with floats... then wet me swapped with hwei to do camera duty hehe... so i missed the dirty games. and boy was it dirty! relay: turn round 10 times, crawl along a slippery mat holding a cup of water, jump around in a gunny sack, eat an item from the breakfast table (sausages, ham, soya sauce, french toast, juice etc.), smear on honey/ maple syrup onto face, blow flour away and pick a polo sweet up in mouth... and finally you're done. lol. zj was so gungho that he smeared all the honey from our group's plate... over his nose and all. euch.
didnt really get to see my group playing the other games as i ran off to film random groups at the other stations... but the games comm was ingenious! charades... to answer, roll on the floor towards me then whisper the answer in my ear. strange wet game... hold a bucket of water (full) with your toes and turn it around/ sing a song etc. and 'table soccer' which i didnt get to see or film. oops.
3rd service
(gosh this is a really long post... )
i actually thought the flow was weird... there was worship... which sort of wound down instead of winding up... then pastor started preaching about ministry (in 3 areas, evangelism, mission, community) and the hunger for the word and the discipline to obey the hunger and put aside time to seek God. i thought it was rather strange... like it wasn't really my portion to do that kind of thing. my spirit agreed with evangelism but not the rest, and even then it wasnt like [yes! that's how i'll serve] and the message itself was aimed at people not already serving.
what came after was a shocker... we continued worship and God's presence was really strong when pastor suddenly called all the leaders to the front and set them loose to pray upon our calling and destiny. gosh it was amazing watching the line of leaders advance towards us... i was standing there wishing i was holding a vid cam. one of the leaders cut through the crowd (like 5 lines of people) in front of where i was standing and started praying for jofid beside me... at that point i went to catch jo (automatic response heh.) when anna cut through with this really purposeful look and grabbed me. what she said over me was just so amazing (and private... until it happens. amen) and it was totally absurd and crazy. my mind is still denying it but my spirit totally agreed when she was prophesying. i still cant comprehend the enormity of it all.
we had a really short breakout session this time... didnt get a chance to share either cos jiahao was talking to much ;) but one thing stuck: to expect even more from Him and to pull down the anointing. at that point i just believed, God, show me just how good you are, i can't imagine it getting any better than this, but Lord just fill me to the overflowing... and if there's too little space left, just make space in me.
DAY 3
breakfast. strangely enough i started talking to bryan (anointed guy, man) and shared that i wanted to share... strangely perhaps cos i felt that i wouldn't ever volunteer anything even though the desire to share was so strong. i said that one of my camp expectations was to be given the courage to be vulnerable... and this was a step that i was being led to take. what he said really encouraged me... in that taking the first step was always the hardest, but God would make it easier.. that hey, even saying that was an act of being vulnerable. it was a shock, realising that it really was... and sort of gave me more courage to share.
4th session. no sermon for this one, just worship... amazing worship. zhengkai released me to just 'enjoy myself' instead of taking footage... thinking back. i'm really really glad i wasn't serving. God's presence was so strong in the room... at one point someone brushed past me and i was just slain, found out later that it was an usher and that jem ran to try to catch me. he didnt quite succeed but i sorta floated down (it's really true, what wei heng said to the ushers in dare... don't worry if you fail to catch a person, God makes sure they don't get hurt). it was different this time in a subtle way... i was shaking... and sort of being cleansed... at the same time whatever was spoken over me the day before was being reaffirmed.
when i got up... it felt like i had already been prayed for, like i had received my portion and more... i realised hwei was the one who nearly fell on top of me (thank God for that. heh) and that amanda was manning the center cam. pastor chin was moving around praying for everyone and it felt wrong... that she shouldnt go up to receive. so i took her place for a while - i think it was a life changing thing. hm. it's hard to find words to describe the inexplicable. later on it suddenly occured to me that i hadn't been prayed for although i was filled. i just thought to God: make space in me Lord for a double portion, i want to get prayed for by pastor. someone asked me if i had been prayed for and i somehow got pushed to the front.
it was unexpected. pastor didnt say a word. but i just went over when he laid his hand on me. the anointing too was different. i was just at peace, warm (the ballroom was really really cold) and talking to my Daddy being affirmed, reassured, loved. ask me the 'how do you know God exists' question... and i still can't answer you, but i know beyond a doubt that He does, He gave me a reason to live. it was surprising to say the least, as an usher i've seen people fall backwards, forwards, move like 5 metres from where they were standing somehow, seen people just fall, ushers fall while catching, people crying, laughing, rolling around, people whom you could feel fire emnating off and people who looked like they were asleep. the people 'asleep' always left the most lasting impression on me cos they were just lost in Him, like with the emotions disconnected. i feel privileged... to have had such a touch from Him.
when i was on the floor i could hear people on my left bawling and someone on my right screaming like she was fighting 10 guys. each sound was like a spear through the heart, sort of a mix between what i was feeling and a glimpse of how much God loves us. at that point in time there was a very clear voice going 'hear that? i will build you up to touch the lives of people like that' it was so amazing to hear my dream confirmed as a destiny... pastor said earlier, God puts the desire in your heart and makes it possible - God wrote your destiny. there was such buildup and confirmation this camp.
we were then released for shopping... didnt go, spent time with the cg over lunch and just hung around instead =) the Bangi burger was BEEG and GOOD lol. and so was the pizza =D i think i underpaid for food but the money worked out somehow =P. then we prepared for the night event.
Campus superstar
was serving again... at the same time as hwei this time, both recording and doing the live feed of the performance. man the costumes for streetwear were so cool! there was zj's caregrp that took streetwear in london winter, the SMU group that took it as street wear, with paul twohill with a hill roadsign, orchard road, dutch road etc. my cg that was wonderfully cheapo with a red tie and hat and the NUS cg that came with painted faces (white black red. v. scary!). performances included singing, dance, strange thing with 'penguins' doing the happy feet thing. really good entertainment. too bad i watched most of it through the LCD cam screen. heh. didnt know that i was supposed to take footage of everything that was shown on the feed (sorry zhengkai). it was so so fun! though half the time i was praying 'God make them turn the feed to a different cam!' half the time cos i was stuck in really weird positions trying to avoid the photographers/ judges table/ corner of the stage/ moving lights/ people standing up trying to see with me blocking.
worship after that was just wild... haha i dont know where all the energy came from =) it ended at 1am plus... and people kept going acapella when the band stopped. i'm blessed to be part of this ministry where God is doing GREAT things and people are just so on fire for Him. it's cooler than anything else on earth that i can imagine. pastor let off the curfew 'sleep early' thing and the cg met at 2am to share and pig out and stuff. Jem shared about what went on in camp and was so open to the point that when jia hao was just waiting for the next person after saying that it would be the last i just jumped in and started sharing my walk with God and how He built me up from brokenness. I could feel Him holding me up through the whole sharing so i could keep on going and stay focused instead of going to pieces. heh. we ended at 6 am and went back to our rooms... talked with hwei till 7 + am when joanna came back from her cg, finally went to take a bath and came out to discover hwei snoring away ^^ then talked with joanna till 8 30 before i fell asleep to wake up at 9 for breakfast. heh.
DAY 4
back to singapore! sorta had breakfast, hung around, talked to people then got on the bus. had an attempt at worship with me/ joel playing random songs on the guitar... qing fei de yi somehow had the most response although it wasnt quite a worship song (understatement of the day) then kenneth took over and we just praised God for 1 hr plus while being bounced around in the bus. it was like icing on a cake, to top off the end of camp instead of being k.o. for 4 hours.
God is moving... God is moving...
Can you hear the sound of Revival?
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
expectations...
camp camp! hm... in no particular order
1. passion for God - renew the fire
there have been so many things trying to swamp me that it feels that i'm only left with a small spark... maybe candlelight... i just want to fall in love again =)
2. passion for life -
God has really answered my prayers these few years... and all the camp expectations too... still, there's more to this life meant just for me and i want to live it to the fullest
3. clearer understanding of my purpose and my path
4. courage-
to love, to feel, to help
perfect love casts off all fear, yet somehow i fear to love people... the people i come to love are the ones that can hurt me the most. i just want to lean on Him for everything, and know that i am secure, even at times where it feels as if someone is hacking my heart to pieces.
5. healing-
for lots of things =P i know some have come to pass... like my eczema , my brokenness but i'll just keep asking cos my daddy God is good =)
- to have baby skin... skin minus the scars from eczema, mozzy bites whatever
- to have a perfect back again without the dislocation (for some reason i've never been able to truly believe till now)
- to have perfect eyesight (never believed this too... although various people have been healed) Lord I don't want to wear specs, people say i look nicer without them... and i dont want to wear contacts either!
- to be whole
6. i dont know! haha just bless me to overflowing Lord!
it's just so amazing knowing the love of God... to be able to ask without inhibitions, knowing that He can give and He will give for He gave His only Son for you
and it's not just for camp! camp doesn't end until the next one comes... God give me the grace to practice what is taught =)
1. passion for God - renew the fire
there have been so many things trying to swamp me that it feels that i'm only left with a small spark... maybe candlelight... i just want to fall in love again =)
2. passion for life -
God has really answered my prayers these few years... and all the camp expectations too... still, there's more to this life meant just for me and i want to live it to the fullest
3. clearer understanding of my purpose and my path
4. courage-
to love, to feel, to help
perfect love casts off all fear, yet somehow i fear to love people... the people i come to love are the ones that can hurt me the most. i just want to lean on Him for everything, and know that i am secure, even at times where it feels as if someone is hacking my heart to pieces.
5. healing-
for lots of things =P i know some have come to pass... like my eczema , my brokenness but i'll just keep asking cos my daddy God is good =)
- to have baby skin... skin minus the scars from eczema, mozzy bites whatever
- to have a perfect back again without the dislocation (for some reason i've never been able to truly believe till now)
- to have perfect eyesight (never believed this too... although various people have been healed) Lord I don't want to wear specs, people say i look nicer without them... and i dont want to wear contacts either!
- to be whole
6. i dont know! haha just bless me to overflowing Lord!
it's just so amazing knowing the love of God... to be able to ask without inhibitions, knowing that He can give and He will give for He gave His only Son for you
and it's not just for camp! camp doesn't end until the next one comes... God give me the grace to practice what is taught =)
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
woahh...
busy busy busy!
prom's over.. got nice photos with the people i wanted... i probably missed a few hehe but i had a nice time not sitting with my class and walking ard like crazy ppl with heidi ruth and mj =) i guess my mommy's willingness to spend money on me paid off [i actually got compliments! and a certain *someone* whose name starts with 'h' is now trying to get my mom to buy me contacts]
post prom was spent at home sleeping while the class went clubbing... hehe... i'm glad i didnt go =D and i've been working for my parents ever since. my mom's ability to put me down is seriously unrivalled. *growl*
one week to History Makers 6ix... can't wait!! camp expectations coming soon.
one week left to finish uni essays
one week left to get my stuff from the school locker and pass envelopes to ms lim
oh look. it's so disjointed. just like the state of my brain. hm.
prom's over.. got nice photos with the people i wanted... i probably missed a few hehe but i had a nice time not sitting with my class and walking ard like crazy ppl with heidi ruth and mj =) i guess my mommy's willingness to spend money on me paid off [i actually got compliments! and a certain *someone* whose name starts with 'h' is now trying to get my mom to buy me contacts]
post prom was spent at home sleeping while the class went clubbing... hehe... i'm glad i didnt go =D and i've been working for my parents ever since. my mom's ability to put me down is seriously unrivalled. *growl*
one week to History Makers 6ix... can't wait!! camp expectations coming soon.
one week left to finish uni essays
one week left to get my stuff from the school locker and pass envelopes to ms lim
oh look. it's so disjointed. just like the state of my brain. hm.
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