Teaching is a good example of that. i'm gonna be 'starting school' this monday and i discovered that i actually enjoy the whole process of learning to be a teacher and writing lesson plans and staying up late to do the million assignments! I realised recently that all my perfectionistic traits detract from glorifying God... cos i'd worry bout the assignment non-stop then treat people around me badly, complain non-stop about the schedule and basically be miserable. but i think i've grown a lot in these few months in those areas heh. it's no longer just a job/ 'serving the scholarship bond' but a postion by which God has orchestrated to impact many people's lives. and just with that thought... all that work becomes worth it =)
i just had a revelation for my teaching practicum: i was stressed out a couple of months ago when i was thrown into a school with no formal training - but after all the formal training in the last 6 months, i still dont feel confident of being able to handle everything that i imagine i'll face from monday onwards! teaching is really about facing small challenges lined up in a row, or even simultaneously... and to make perfect decisions in the short span of time given is impossible. i've always wanted to be perfect in everything - plan everything, or perfectly smoke my way through everything. i simply can't even begin to be perfect in this case with my inexperience and all... but i just realised the other day, that if God puts me in a situation like this. then he gives me the anointing to make up for all that i'm lacking. and simply because i'm so lacking - i know it is all Him and not me and i can give Him all the glory. wow.
the other bit is worship ministry... what started out as an unfulfilled desire to continue the exciting journey God had for me in london with music... has become me playing the guitar for caregroup, getting some guitar classes, going into worship ministry and as of sunday i've been evaluated as fit to go onstage to serve!... that is amazing, but that's bringing about a change in me too. i'm the tomboy jeans t-shirt kinda person who likes all the techie stuff and does videography and photography. now i've changed ministry from being totally behind the scenes to totally in view of everyone. aaand. i'm now forced to dress well and wear makeup! i guess God really planned it well - or i'll never see the need to go a further level in dressing up. the $$ is rather painful on the pocket but i guess it's a blessing in disguise cos all the stuff im gonna get for choir i can wear in school as well. and totally out of character... i bought makeup! haha. what i had before was stuff nicked from my mum (she's been telling me for years to borrow hers everytime i have a performance... and i've listened... but choir isn't a one-off thing soo i went and got my own)
and my new stash... costing 10% of my gross salary. ouchie. but i dont fancy the thought of putting crap stuff on my face =S growing-up-pocket-pains! this doesn't include the stuff i need to get to match the colour and dress code for the choir... there's actually a printed piece of paper with diff shades of diff colours specifying which shades we have to get! expensive sia...
