i conquered the world!

on monday =D

heehee =P i was actually stoning in the room while mark hui xuan and kai played... then hui xuan had to go... and mark walked her back and left... so melvin took over mark and i took over hui xuan... (and i beat two guys at RISK!) see the little orange guys in the top left corner? i kicked them out!

okay photo post =P

typical english breakfast... only without the happy face (you can choose to have beans or noodles as well... just 4 items and two drinks and toast)

i forgot what this is >.<> the thames... my phone cam is pretty lousy =(
the fountain @ piccadilly
the people i went to ikea with... lol. and the london buses
train station (lots of people bike here)

that's it for now =) [this post was mainly to gloat about winning in risk XD]

sunday

was a really interesting experience... the pace of life here slows down soooo much... you see ppl just sitting around relaxing... the people walking at the shops walk slower too. (and all the singaporean christians went to morning services =S so i had no one to hang out with) stoned with a jap year 2 till about 4pm then went for service

hillsongs... has great worship (to be expected right?) but the preaching isn't very solid... at least yesterday's one wasn't. lots of verses thrown at you to substantiate a point... but not very anointed. messages here are short! like 20 min.. and they get a lot of guest speakers (pastor's coming in october). i guess i'll check out another church in the morning then go for the afternoon service again next week. i feel like hillsong is a good place to serve... but dunno about feeding and growing there.

we shall see.

pray for me!

thank you =)

i realise i haven't put up a thank you post yet... i guess it's cos it means that i'm really here and not going back... and won't see you guys for a year. bah.

thank you! to the people who

gave me a letter/ wrote in the black book:
xingcong (though i'll see you in london lol.), jofid, heiman, andrea, izzy, jiahao, shawn, joseph, jem, hwei, michael, joy, joash, fel, lindis, u-glen, eph, clement, yeow, amanda, jan, yuhua, zj, jane, esther, daniel, renhao

gave me cool stuff:
felicia (i'm using the bag to carry my shower stuff to the shower!!), u-glen (my last mooncakes in singapore), the whoever(s) who contributed to the webcam (haha i haven't set it up yet!), shawn for the book, janiah for plane food (your brownies are really good... *drool*)

sent me off at the airport:
(wah long list and sorry sorry, very lag in putting up photos.)
shawn, hwei, jan, lindis, jofid, justin, andrea, izzy, daniel, renhao, jane, amanda, esther, xingcong, joel

and the well wishes of the rest... 'last meals' and such.


i feel loved ^^ hehe.


it's been super busy... well sorta. heh i could choose to be a hermit in my room i guess. still shopping and getting stuff to make my room 'mine'... going to ikea today!

sunburnt skin + london weather = peeling = gross

more details!

my room:
i think i'm really blessed... cos i've got a toilet and adjoining showers in the same corridor as my room. toilets are shared by the whole floor... 2 on each floor so some pple walk really far just to use a toilet (the inside of the hall is a maze... and lots of fire doors so you can't really tell where you're going) toilets are clean =) well... even the public toilets are a lot cleaner than singapore... and there are very few of those around... so you can imagine the number of people using them.

the room itself is pretty small... no pictures for you till i finish putting away stuff ^^ (which probably will never happen) i got a mug yesterday for £1 *yay* can make hot drinks once i get a kettle (the ones provided in the pantry are scarily yellow 0_0) i was blessed by the last person who used the room... i brought 10 hangers and i haven't used any of them cos the last person left about 15! no lack here.


weather report:
i'm getting used to it! it's about 10-20 deg... windchill is terrible but i can walk ard the hall in shorts and t-shirt without being too cold. out of doors two layers has been enough so far. but wind blowing = brrr (today's pretty warm. joy!) super dry here though... moisturising has become a ritual... and bits of me a cracking and flaking off eep. flaky christian ehehe...


shopping:
i think i've been doing nothing but shopping. and walking around.. albeit not productively. we met a year 3 ucl guy who used to be classmates with some of the s'pore guys (the world is too small lor.) and he was saying tt everything we seemed to want can be found in ikea... so off to ikea on saturday =P it isn't as easy to get lost in london as they say. it's pretty much the same as s'pore, you walk in the general direction of the place and you'll find it.


orientation:
it's pretty much free and easy, no groups/ course introductions... so i've pretty much been going up to random ppl, introducing myself and talking to them about uni and courses and countries (so surface! bleh.) i've met... 1 german, 2 from hongkong, 1 brit, 1 czech, 1 china, 2 malaysians, 1 american (postgrad student!), 1 swede (although i only talked to this guy in passing)... and a couple of girls on my floor... brits i think, i didn't ask. hmmm. still trying to get to know people around my hall. there is unfortunately a tendency for singaporeans to stick together and eat together and walk around together... so the only chance for talking to people is in waiting for the lifts. hmmm.


i can't think of anything else... humph. shall go do qt and off to be a kiasu singaporean =P gonna enrol 1 hr before our enrolment time starts... heh

contact details

if anyone wants my address, room tel, hp drop me a tag/ comment/ email/ msn!

if you're from cg, there's a post saved as a draft on the blog/ a copy on the google whiteboard (but people haven't been added to it... yet...?)

if you're from arrow vid it's on the google whiteboard too! (if you want i'll put one on the groups as well, but i'm lazy to log in to yahoo)

yup. if you're from school/ moe/ acquaintance sorry... haha i can't remember everyone so i need you to tell me you want my contact XD

ehehe

okay. i'm vaguely wondering "Oh God... what have i gotten myself into" and discovering a need for many things that i didn't pack... heh

highlights of yesterday:

taking the tube... (i fell asleep =P thank God for friends who stay awake, and for hooking me up with Hillsong London people)

walking! many things are expensive... walked to the theatre where Hillsongs is, supermarket, argos... i think i can still get lost cos we were following a fren ard (who has been here about a week alr) and i was just blindly following. lol.

more walking! i got my london phone number... pay-as-you-go... see how it goes... whether getting a plan is worth it. -i foresee many msn nights with the phone off-

got back and started unpacking (information overload gosh)... then i heard many doors closing and poked my head out to ask someone/ anyone and went down to dinner. happily followed the girls in front of me until i got to the cashier. and i got stuck! cos i didn't have the pass card... the card machine wasn't working when i checked in! so i had to abandon my food and get one. pfft.

in the queue to talk with the wardens i saw a guy with the same kind of expression as i had... so i started talking to him haha. same problem with food! seems pretty nice, a local from essex. hehe. favour favour.

okay off to breakfast

0 days!

haha i didn't have time to blog with all the last min packing.

quick update. i'm in london, safe, baggage chucked inside my hall.

i can't check in till after 2pm (london's 7 hrs behind)
i can't get my debit card... it is mia. but at least the account is set up..

going for lunch/ getting phone/ water distiller in a while.

yup.

the two hillsong pple who came to pick me up are funky... (maybe i'll serve in video min there too =P) see how it goes. i'm still hanging out with the bunch of sporean frens... so pray that i make friends quick quick and make good Godly ones too =)

4 days

hmmm... people are going 'ohno! i still have so much to pack/ i'm over the weight limit!!' i'm going 'um... i can't seem to find things to pack... aside from more clothes... am i missing something here?'


anyhow.

the to-do list:
1. pack... wash clothes... pack
2. buy 200ml showergel of some sort
3. print more passport photos
4. buy that stupid clever pencilcase
5. get eyebrows trimmed (yes.. i do know they need work)
6. pack my room (omg once i'm gone my room's gonna become their office >.<) 5. sort out music on my comp 6. rip sermons + music into comp 7. collect my x-ray from joel
8. book the cab from airport to hall (well... if i don't get a lift, i'll prob take the tube with nick and zihao...)


i feel relatively accomplished XD.

tomorrow/ today will be all about money... get what little pay i can from working for parents, change money for me... get travellers cheques in case of emergency... (my UK branch got changed to Russell Sq apparently. thank God.)... close my UOB account (with that measly $2200 in it =P to go into paying parents for all the stuff they bought for me. omg tt brings my spore expenditure to $4000+)

last bible study. can't wait =D


ohoh. there's this courtesy of the 'dandan' on my tagboardXD (i actually didn't get to see it cos i was inside the audi talking to people... so. hurrah for the invention of video cameras)


Online Videos by Veoh.com

6 days

and i haven't done anything on the to-do list...

oh i taught my mom to msn! haha... so fun... she doesn't scream at me anymore =D!

and i'm finally getting round to doing this... =P


Look at the list of books below. Bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a 10 foot pole, put a cross infront of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk* the ones you’ve never heard of.

01. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
02. +Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
03. +To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
04. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
05.+ The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
06.+ The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
07.+ The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
08.+ Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
09.* Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10.* A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11.+ Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12.* Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13.+ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16.+ Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. *Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19.+ Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20.+ Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. + Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24.* The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30.+ Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32.* The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33.* Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34.* 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36.* The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37.* The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39.* The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41.* The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42.* The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45.+ Bible (Bits and pieces.)
46.* Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51.* The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52.+ A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54.+ Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56.* The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57.+ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58.* The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61.* Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62.* The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65.* Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67.* The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72.* Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75.+ The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76.* The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77.* A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78.* The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79.* The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80.+ Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81.* Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83.* Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84.* Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85.+ Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91.* In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93.+ The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94.* The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99.* The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

hehe i think my book knowledge is kinda sad..

and the crossed out ones are more like books i can't be bothered to read... like even if they were borrowed for me.

what a waste of time. hee =P

at this time

exactly 7 days later.

i'll be on a plane to Heathrow airport... and a new future.


and i don't know what to expect... but i guess it doesn't matter cos i know God is good =)




to-do:
1. pack... wash clothes... pack
2. buy 200ml showergel of some sort
3. print more passport photos
4. buy that stupid clever pencilcase
5. get eyebrows trimmed (yes.. i do know they need work)
6. pack my room (omg once i'm gone my room's gonna become their office >.<)
5. sort out music on my comp
6. rip sermons + music into comp
7. collect my x-ray from joel
8. book the cab from airport to hall

can't seem to think of anything else... although i vaguely remember something.


heh... go out with friends... go out with random people... go out with parents... teach parents msn... figure out skype and teach parents (i'm lazy to do this... really.)...

7 days more!

indecision

packing options:

1.1 check-in big luggage bag, handcarry 45L bagpack + laptop bag (currently in progress, big bag ~22kg, handcarry 4kg laptop... well the weight of the laptop 3kg?)

1.2 same as 1.1 only that laptop, software, hd, camera go into handcarry, cables/ powercables/ mouse go into luggage

2.0 check in big luggage bag and 45L bagpack, use laptop bag as handcarry

3.0 check in big luggage bag and 45L bagpack, use small haversack as handcarry with laptop, camera, hd inside... cables and stuff into big luggage

4.1 don't bring bagpack (get parents to bring @ christmas), check in 2 medium luggage bags, use laptop bag as handcarry

4.2 like 4.1 only use small haversack with same conditions as 3.0

5.1 don't bring bagpack (same as above), check in 1 big luggage bag, use small luggage bag as handcarry + laptop bag

5.2 like 5.1 only without the laptop bag



how? suggestions?


couple of things... i'd like to have my bagpack with me if i can help it... i'm a bit more than half packed (weight of the check in might be a problem, max 30kg)... and i dunno whether it's safe to carry a laptop bag around in the open... space isn't a problem i think.


pfft.

i wonder

what God feels when we complain about Him... when we call Him a lousy bugger (heh yeow.)

but i know from the bible that God is love... so that means He can't be anything else but love?

after all, all the judgement + anger was appeased at the cross... and we're covered by the blood of Jesus, made righteous through His death... so there's nothing left but love?

that blows the mind doesn't it...



...



a quickie: accomodation settled, can move in 17th after 2pm... visa called me so i'll collect my stuff on fri... cab, dunno yet... prob with nick unless it's very inconvenient (eek. then i'll be a lightbulb sharing a cab with a couple =P)... banking still pending - God... do something here.

in my head

is a mess (just like my room)

maybe it doesn't look that way... but everything important to do with leaving Singapore's been going wrong

- i get the offer of scholarship... accept the UCL offer with minutes to spare... apply for accomodation and make it on the last day

visa app
- i wait very very long for confirmation... but i don't get it. so i email international office...
- i get a reply ~1month later: they sent a letter
- i get the letter... 1 week? later and happily go down to visa application office where they tell me: no, you can't make your visa cos the letter doesn't have all the info we need
- i email them again... and get joel to chase them, joel gets an email saying 'we faxed it to you'... but he hasn't received it...
- i finally get the acceptance letter, go down to visa office and apply
- that was two weeks ago... and i've been calling the office and getting engaged tones. pfft. so where's my visa?!?!

accomodation
- i find that everyone has their accomodation but me... i email accomodation office and get an offer (apparently UCL hadn't forwarded my details to the hall...)
- i have this amazingly troublesome time trying to get my documents to the hall by the deadline (okay not really... but it was quite strange that all my faxes couldn't get through...)
- i realise i don't have a hardcopy of proof of accomodation... nor confirmation that i can move in early on the 17th and i email them
- i'm still waiting...

banking
- i sign up for the international student account... (very happy... can get something done smoothly)
- i discover my account has been set up... branch: one in OXFORD... when i'm studying in? LONDON... pfft
- again i'm waiting for reply/ confirmation/ something


call me of little faith... but i'm wondering if this overseas thing has all been my effort and not His plan...

or maybe it's been going right... just in God's time and not mine

or maybe it's like what pastor says... that the devil catches a glimpse of the amazing things God has called you to do... then tries his best to stop it from happening...


maybe i should stop thinking so much and trust that my Daddy God makes all things work for good.

aye-scream for ice-cream

what i've been doing in my spare time.... *evil grin*

trying to squeeze my life into a 45L bagpack and beeg suitcase...


not that hard.

only that the mother is worried about the weight and i have to somehow pack so that the bags are of relatively the same (manageable) weight

in any case... i'm a quarter done... the clothes shall go in slowly day by day or i'll have only shorts and school shirts to wear for 2 weeks 0_o

can't pack the electronic things either cos i'm using them =S... then again... those are going into the laptop bag as my handcarry (with the exception of the many many data cables)

...

haha. the stupid vacuum packed pillow is happily un-vacuuming itself and puffing up

...


13 days more.

i haven't collected my visa (they aren't picking up the phone)
i haven't settled who's sharing a cab with me/ booked a cab from airport to hall
i haven't confirmed that i can move into my accomodation earlier
i haven't changed money/ made bank drafts or travellers cheques
i haven't got confirmation that the UK bank branch has been reassigned (they put me to a branch in Oxford... and i'm going to London...?)
i haven't got my password for S'pore side internet banking (culprit: memory loss)
i haven't bought a pencil case (bah.)

should i be panicking?

burnt...

i haven't blogged in a few days... not that there's much to blog about...

- been editing vids [i have a new respect for all those fan-subbers out there... subbing takes forever! 0_o] i wanted to upload the TSPC one... but it's too long for youtube and they don't let me post it so no point.

- editing more vids... well taking them actually - ice-skating vid and turkish ice-cream-man vs nicholas to be uploaded soon (soon is relative to my free time)

- trying desperately to learn how to create a torrent so i can spare myself the pain of sending all the MOE scholars the TSPC vid... [meh. if only downloading from youtube was an option... but it becomes private... and then pple can't get the add anyway =( ]

ULTIMATE frisbee today with the
ULTIMATE tan lines (i am so chao-tar)

check out my invisible watch...

right arm (the left one looks the same)
poor legs...

along with the 'burnt' theme... today's daily devotional=) :

Jesus Has You Covered

Then he shall put his hand on the head of the burnt offering, and it will be accepted on his behalf to make atonement for him. Leviticus 1:44

Imagine the perfection of Jesus covering you from head to toe in the sight of God every moment of the day. Does that sound like a dream? My friend, that is your reality because Jesus became your burnt offering at the cross.


In the case of the burnt offering, when the offerer lays his hand on the animal sacrifice (Leviticus 1:3–4), the perfection and beauty of the unblemished sacrifice is transferred to him, and God sees and accepts him in the perfection of the animal.

In Hebrew, the word “accepted” implies being treated with favour, delight and acceptance. This means that you, for whom Jesus became a burnt offering, are treated by God with favour, delight and acceptance because the beauty and perfection of Jesus has been transferred to you. As your burnt offering, Jesus have made atonement for you on your behalf.

Jesus is your atonement or covering for sin. How precious Jesus is to the Father is how precious you are to the Father because when the Father sees you, He sees Jesus, your atonement, your covering.

So every day, take Jesus as your burnt offering come to God and say, “Father, I thank You that Jesus is my burnt offering. He covers me from head to toe with His righteousness. I thank you Father, that You see me without spot or wrinkle. You see me covered in all the value and perfection of the work of Your Son. What He is to You, I am. Who He is to You, I am. As He is now, so am I. I am in Him!”

Jesus has you covered. You don’t appear before the Father with all your lack, faults and shortcomings. Jesus proclaims to you what is right with you in spite of what is wrong with you because He has you covered. Today, hear him telling you, “Go, girl! I have got you covered. There is nothing for you to worry about!” Hear him saying to you, “Go for it, son! I am covering you. There is nothing for you to fear!”

and life goes on

back from camp... i actually came back yesterday night =P figured it was pointless to stay the night and not-sleep and go home the next day.

camp was... i dunno... kinda fun... different culture (?) with partygoers galore. i managed to do what i went there to do - made lots of friends, get to know more seniors. but i realised at the end of it last night when they were playing a mild version of a drinking game, how difficult it would be for me to stick by my principles over there. there is pressure to party/ club/ drink till you're drunk/ play like crazy. it was a strange experience as i came to the end of myself in the middle of an indian poker game (this girl had to do a forfeit and kiss a senior >.<) and found myself silently praying that God would preserve me in that kind of environment, give me favour to fit in... to be in the world (and belong) but not of the world. i realised it wouldn't be as easy fitting in as i thought...

by Your favour and grace Lord.


to backdate this a bit... Daddy God's really amazing...

on saturday at servers meeting 1230pm... i was falling asleep as deacon matthew was sharing with us the spirit of serving, thinking "when this ends i can go to some corner and take a nap... and be more alert for service (which starts at 4.30)" the meeting ended at 2pm.. and we went to set up.

serving is a calling... a longing to do something in the kingdom of God... i wanted to serve this week... my 2nd last arrow before London 0_o but i was so tired. in any case, i asked esther how come i wasn't scheduled for today, whether it was for the newcomers to learn. and she turned to me and said 'ya, but they're not here, do you want to do main cam today?' i said yes, and abruptly realised that no less than 10 min ago i was commenting to someone that if i were to serve today i'd probably be able to fall asleep at the camera and you'd see pastor walk out of frame =P

i started off tired, i did... and behind the cam you only get a 2D picture of what's going on... normally your brain shuts down after a while, but as worship progressed my brain started to wake up. then pastor had ministering and i was struck with something i never thought of before - Lord, i want to go up but i'm stuck here serving You. normally in worship, you lift your hands in surrender, lose yourself in His love and come out refreshed... all the more so in ministering, with special anointing as leaders lay hands on you.

and there i was, stuck behind the camera, both hands busy, having to stay alert... and being a bit sad that i couldn't go up... when i realised the portion that servers have...

i used to be in CREW... an usher, basically 'helps' ministry... in ministering, you run around to catch the people getting slain in the Spirit. As you stand behind the person the leader/ pastor is praying for, you can literally feel the backwash of the anointing, even covering you. i realised the privillege of being in video at that point - we get to see the big picture. video is involved in most, if not all events... behind the camera we get to see the multitude of people go up, see the presence of God fall, see people walk away from the front with love shining from their faces... and we get to go up now and then to physically receive... but who's to say that God doesn't touch the people way back in the crowd?

so behind the camera, in the complete opposite of the position i'd normally have in worship - eyes wide open, watching everything, hands controlling the camera, holding still and thinking about the framing instead of concentrating on Him, i just told Him - Lord my heart is open, i want that anointing, that refreshing and i can't go up to get prayed for. You placed me here Lord, so You sustain me, give me strength to stand here, to film well for the whole service and not zone out. Lord i draw from You, right here, right now. - and the sweet physical manifestation of His presence came.

i videoed the rest of the sermon... with the exception of 30 min where hweifen took over from me so i could rest - and doing something as tiring as standing still for 2+ hours and staring at a tiny screen thinking about framing, i came away from serving... more refreshed than when i went in.

God is so good... it blows me away.

give me strength

an update... against my better judgement cos of the time... but then again i probably won't get a chance to blog till... next wed or so.

21/8/07
- full day of work for parents
- break in the middle for photoshop class 1-2pm
- ballet 6.30-7.30pm
- dinner with aaron, my fellow true beginner in the beginner adult ballet class full of laselle ppl
- finally home to finish video editing of hwei's bdae-cake-smash... slept at... what, 2am?

22/8/07
- ice-skating with the MOE scholars 10am @ jurong east... which meant i woke up at 730am =(
- rush off for 2nd photoshop lesson, 2pm-4pm (the guy was nice and extended the time!)
- went looking for sandals around dhoby ghaut... no progress there though
- got picked up by joel for our scholars bible study thing... which ended at 10pm
- got a lift to orchard... picked up by parents for supper
- reached home at uh. 12am thereabouts
- against logic i turned on my lappy and started editing the TSPC video 0_0
- slept at... around 3am

23/8/07
- off to johor bahru for dental appointment... and an attempt at buying sport shoes
- woke up at 830am... and didn't actually move from where i was till about 9am lol.
- shopped. shopped? dunno. managed to buy some random items i needed... although my mom got most of the things on her list done. (no shoes still btw.)
- back home 9pm, turned on comp... and suddenly filled my nice empty friday with a lot of things

24/8/07
- meet xing cong at RJ 8.30am to get certified trues from office and stuff from bookshop
- head down to orchard and split up, me for visa and to check for sandal prices from that shop at cine, him to repair the poor new camera that got drowned in a waterfall
- meet again for lunch(?) with nicholas and head to queensway to get shoes/ sandals (i must must must buy this time grrr.)
- get home ... by 5 hopefully? and edit that TSPC vid... i'm still only doing our performance =(... oh yes. pack. - and must sleep early this time.
[edit] nick didn't show in the end... and i spent about $616 today... which brings the week's expenditure to $715... not counting cents, busfare and stuff. wow. on a happier note, i think i'm just about done with buying =)[/edit]

25/8/07
- meeting ex-classmates 8am chinatown for breakfast (the last breakfast. lol.)
- servers meeting 12.30pm @ church
- serving for arrow... 1.30pm to well... 8 plus 9... [edit] esther just told me i'm not down for tomorrow's service =D so i can bring my lappie and edit for TSPC/ ice skating and chill =)[/edit]
- dinner with the cg =) pray that i don't start nodding off into my food...
- probably reach home after 11pm

26/8/07
- going for... 1st service(?) with the cg pple who go then... ugh. if i can wake up... or maybe go alone to 2nd =S
- UCL freshers camp... 3.15pm pasir ris to catch shuttle to the place...

27/8/07
- camp. well.

28/8/07
- camp. yes. still. till about 10.30am
- freedom! XD
- arrow video training... probably 7.30 to... about 10


*takes a deep breath*
okay. off to bed.

hee.

i was listening to my ipod on the song shuffle... and N'sync came up... and omg my reaction was so jaded lol.

When winter comes in summer
When there's no more forever
Yeah, that's when I'll stop loving you (yah right, humans don't have the capacity to love)

That's when I'll stop loving you
I'm sure you've heard these words before (uh huh.)
And I know it's hard for you to trust them once more (definately so.)
You're afraid it all might end (it already did at some point.)
And a broken heart is scared of breaking again (you're right there. never healed.)
But you've gotta believe meI'll never leave you (as if you can keep a promise)
You'll never cry long as I am there (that's what you all say.)
And I will always be there (oh really?)
You will never be without love

When winter comes in summer (it's starting to happen already...)
When there's no more forever (there was never really a forever)
When lies become the truth (eh... doesn't that happen all the time?)
Oh you know then baby,
That's when I'll stop lovin'
That's when I'll stop loving you

...

that's when i reached home and turned it off. hehe.

but sarcastic thoughs aside - if you imagine Jesus saying it to you, it brings a whole new meaning to things =). Only a perfect man perfect God can keep His promises perfectly.

and that's my Saviour!

...


i love the Abrahamic blessings...

I will make you a great nation;
I will bless you
And make your name great;
And you shall be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,
And I will curse him who curses you;
And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”
Genesis 12:2-3

blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies. In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice.”
Genesis 22:17-18

God does the do-ing, we just receive.
(and i find i love Him all the more cos Jesus qualified me for this.)

i choose to believe

i just caught this in the spirit this morning, after these past two weeks of swirling thoughts...

the other voice came back (if you know what i mean) for a moment and i was warring with it. all the 'what if's, the 'are you sure this is the right choice?'s, the 'what's your future, life isn't worth it', the 'comeon, you regret not dying right? see life so difficult' etc.

so i was asking God... are you really sure? God? cos i'm scared to death (rather literally.) and i don't know where i'm going... and preparations aren't going well. not well at all. i have not the strength to fight anymore.

... so i shut down... and shut out... and run away (and was rather surprised when ian looked at me yday at the prayer meeting and went 'you look tired, are you okay?' lol). some-when in there i was thinking about pastor's message about rest (timely reminder) ... and asking God 'eh God, this is so NOT rest la. how how? cannot go overseas being so depressed - so flat, how ah?'... thinking 'omg. talk about falling short of God's will... when you're afraid to sleep cos you don't want to face the next day'

and somehow this morning while thinking through the circumstances i'm in/ been through - it dawned on me... the purpose for the phrase "Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest" from Hebrews 4:11... that it takes effort, to choose to believe in Jesus, to choose to believe that God holds my world in the palm of His hand, to choose to believe that all things work for good no matter what happens to you.

so.




i choose to believe that God is good, He's my ABBA, my provider--

i choose to believe that my accomodation delay is because He is working to find me a great place to stay.

i choose to believe that the delay in my letters and my visa application is because He is crafting a place for me, a position in university.

i choose to believe that He will finance my life - that He is my provider, not my parents, not the scholarship board, not my boss.

...

i choose to believe that He has made me a blessing, and created me for an amazing purpose - no matter how unworthy i know i am

i choose to believe that He has planted me in MOE for a reason, to be an impact in some way for Christ

i choose to believe that He has created a niche for me in this batch of scholars - among people i barely know anything about, among a group of people i feel rather unworthy to be in

...

i choose to believe that He is Lord over my life, by extension my parents' lives

i choose to believe that one day He will restore their relationship, that He is the glue between them, not me.

...

i choose to believe that He is my Savior King, my protector, my healer.

i choose to believe that no weapon that comes against me shall prosper, that i will be safe in London and be happy in Him.

i choose to believe that i walk in the perfect health Jesus died to give me - that the 6/6 vision is coming, that my body is whole and not broken.

i choose to believe that Jesus and me, we make the majority - and He's all that matters.

...

and the war in my head just faded away.


and the email from residence just came saying i got international hall. thank you Daddy. (i guess you call these tears of love & joy)