feeling lost

i was surfing various leaders' blogs and found this on gilbert's:

a prayer during ministering time at the end of one campus ministry...

"I want you to just close your eyes, and let the anointing fill this place, and let the Father love you, telling you that you are special, let Him take away every sense of unworthiness within you, take away those unworthy thoughts...

You are unique, you are loved...

just feel the anointing here, the Father wanting to love His people, the Father wanting to love His children, maybe your parents tell you, or have told you that you're unworthy, the Father in heaven runs to embrace you... in your weakness, in your stench, in your sin...

He will never reject you. The world can reject you, your family can reject you, your friends may despise you, but the Father will never despise of reject you.

Just let the love of God just flow...if you want to let those tears flow just let them flow is doesn't matter, just let it flow, the feeling of God is here in this place, He's restoring esteem, restoring wholeness, thank you Jesus...

Thank you Father how you love them, how you love us Lord...

If someone has told you before that you're good for nothing, that is a lie, you're not a good for nothing...God gave everything He has for you, you are His everything, you are the Father's everything...you are the Father's everything...thank you Lord...let Your love flow and embrace everyone...

just open your heart and let the love of God flow into your life and , go beyond your mind, and get into your spirit...

He loves you, He looks beyond your weakness into your every need, the bible says a broken spirit He will not despise, maybe you say 'God I have nothing to offer you but brokenness', God says He will not despise, maybe you say 'I have been bruised in my life, I'm like a bruised reed, God will not break that bruised reed. Maybe you say, 'I'm like the fire that's going out, the smothering wick, like the fire that's going out.' God will not blow you out, He will light that fire in your life all over again. Thank you Jesus..

I want you to just stand there, and receive the love of God today, receive His goodness in your life, by letting His spirit overwhelm you, let the anointing overwhelm you, if you feel like crying just let those tears flow, don't worry, because He is your refuge, He's your hiding place..."

i was just overwhelmed then... cos His presence just came *wham* a rush of love and reassurance. and the tears just started to fall.

been feeling lost the whole day... after the supercharged high of OBS, not needing to think about where i'm going, what i'm doing next, the long long long list of things i haven't done, whether i chose the right path... thinking about the people that i care for (look i'm worrying! even though i know that all things work for good. it's hard to trust. yes... hard to trust God)... then bam it hits. and i just don't want to face the world. so i did nothing the whole day... lol. woke up super late, then added all my watch people to msn, then went for a super long walk. escapism.

which is why this was so precious (that i'm actually blogging about it). such refreshing.


through the tears i suddenly thought about the last sharing circle my watch had... where we digressed into talking about crying and being emotional. the thing is. i don't cry... most of the time i can't let myself do it. only in His presence do i feel safe enough to let go. OBS was so precious because everyone was so open, things within the circle were safe. okay i'm digressing too. nvm