quotable quotes

i have amusing friends...

"if anyone insists I sit and type data in, I will be thoroughly tempted to trip them up and force them to photocopy their bottom"
~christie


"boys can be so dim sometimes...
that's why God made eve... cos He knew that if left alone they would f*** things up"
~soph

...

update on the gas saga:
the engineers were trumping through our flats today... and they dug up the street to get to the pipes... so hopefully we'll have gas again in the near future =D

hello how are you

i was just procrastinating my essay...
it's supposed to be timed but my brain gave way around the 50 min mark and i'm stuck at the conclusion and don't know what to write...

therefore my mind started wandering - and it stopped at the youth sermon on sunday... basically a challenge to go out and 'BE' the light of the world... to be friendly, let God's love show through you, step out/ step up... speak to people, love them - have an 'others-centered' ministry

that's difficult. cos you really need a 'Christ-centered' esteem for yourself to have the courage to do that. and making real friends isn't easy... especially if you're to be the person 'there' for them to look to and see Jesus in. in fact, being real is hard enough... cos you have to wear your heart on your sleeve in today's culture with smiling plastic faces.

wow. i simply can't. i balk at meeting new people in new settings... and it's not as if i'm a fantastic friend to even the oldest of friends

so here i lift my hands yet again and say - anoint me Lord for i cannot. i give all that i am and am not to You, all that i can and can not to You. use and change me that i may touch the lives of the people around me

daylight savings is off

so. i went around the week reminding people and being reminded that clocks go back an hour today. unfortunately daylight savings was still on in my brain when i got up this morning.

therefore. i went to church 1 hour early for the 11am service and realised it only when i was standing at the doors.

but. all things work for good... cos 1 hr early for 11am service is 1 hr late for the 9am service and i managed to catch the sermon (most of it anyway). and i'm back home early and have more time to prep for the essay due on tuesday before i have to go set-up for youth at 330pm.

cold showers

1. some gas pipe on the street burst
2. they are gonna take some time to lay pipes before we can get gas
3. it is about 10 degrees outside
4. heating requires gas

*whine*

until then... i shall miserably freeze in the shower and sulk under the duvet be joyful in my tribulation and proclaim the works of the Lord as i pray pray pray that London will become super duper productive on my street.

nice emo

yay i found this off j ieyun's blog... after watching the one hwei posted on fbook and liking it waay too much.

must watch!

Leave Me from Daros Films on Vimeo.

one heartbeat at a time

this song really spoke to me...



it's was written for moms haha... i'm ahead of my years... but:

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
~One Heartbeat At A Time, Steven Curtis Chapman

my order arrived

i am freaking out over using it... cos....
blue.
i probably need to bleach my hair though... cos the proposed output for dark hair looks black. rawr.

love is in the air

you know that school has kicked in when your calendar doesn't just say 'do readings for project/ lecture x' but begins to have an hour by hour plan for the day. or worse still... days ahead. today was probably my first day like that though lessons have been on for two weeks now.

9am -> 2 hours of lecture, 1 hour seminar with tutor, 2 hour meeting with project mentor, go home to grab books to sell to juniors/ back to school to pass books, grab lunch, be a lab rat for junior, an hour or so trying to wrap my brain around the project and what the mentor said -> 5pm hurrah. then finally a break before dinner... 7pm -> hebrew class (where i got totally pwned and felt completely stupid) -> 9pm therefore i'm blogging now cos every fibre of my being is rejecting anything that has to do vaguely with university before i sleep.

anyway.
...

i've been thinking a lot about love these two weeks... about how it's seemingly 'the season to get attached' for so many people. conversations with old friends/ people i haven't spoken to in a while inevitably have 'so, are you attached now?' or 'how is your bf/ gf?' when nothing like that would appear just a couple of years ago. haha. somehow that makes me wonder if i'll get together with anyone in the near future - preferably without any more of the emo drama that has happened in the last few years. unlikely though... since we're all human.

what g ordon said the other day was most profound:
being in love with someone and loving someone are two completely different things. being in love is easy. loving someone on the other hand...

i totally agree. i've liked (fallen for??) a couple of people over the years, but i have yet to learn to love - or perhaps i'm simply afraid to allow myself to be in the situation to do so. for that matter... sometimes i think i probably still can't love myself, much less love someone else. so... will i get attached in the near future? probably not until i learn to love (or until i meet a person i'll take the plunge for... haha shouldn't speak too soon yeah?) and yet some days i wonder if i have missed chances simply because i'm running away and whether there'll be more 'potentials' in the future.

but hey. where does God fit into the picture?
in fact... shouldn't this picture be fitting around God?

God is love. the one and only love that satisfies.
love that will cause me and whoever it is to cross paths
love that gives me favour with the person
love that will cause me to be able to love
love that will allow me to commit to love
love that provides wisdom for the decision
love that will never let me go
love that is always present
love that is there no matter what the decision
love that is.

behind closed doors

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
what do you do?

oh the wonders of technology

today i got drenched in london rain while walking to and back from a friend's place with only a hoodie over a dry-fit tee at a wonderful temperature of 13 deg celsius -- which sparked off this conversation:

m@ta says:
bring umbrella
in times like this, u deserve to be smacked on the head
*smack*

cherie~ [london.] says:
so mean
i can't believe you're doing this to me one continent away lol

m@ta says:
haha
msn transcends geographical distance
allows me to cybersmack you

born to be a housewife

i can't quite relay the tremendous amount of satisfaction i get when i cook/ bake for people and they shovel the food down like it's their first meal in a few days

and there's the 'relaxation' when i'm grocery shopping... and (wow.) i actually like cleaning - as long as i'm not cleaning up after people. well. with the exception of the toilet

...

my mom wonders why i never do any of this when i'm at home... i wonder why too.

identity crisis

i'll be honest - summer brought on a slew of questions one of which was:

who am i really? if i am like 'a' when i'm at home with family... 'b' with people i work with... 'c' with friends from secondary school... 'd' with singaporeans in london... 'e' with the ncc cg.. 'f' with the friends that i don't really have to say much to... 'g' with those i don't really have much to say to... 'h' to my dear atas flatmates... you get my drift.

perhaps i'm only 'me' before God
but what eugene said yday to me in passing was a revelation - even though it's something i 'know' already - that my identity isn't and shouldn't be based on who i'm hanging out with.

it feels schizo - like i don't really have a 'me' cos it's just adapting and adapting and adapting
but maybe it's a gift... this... being able to connect with different types of people

...

and another question - am i being too open?
according to the parents i am too 'me' to people i don't know well enough. i wonder if they're right... vulnerability attracts people somehow - and in a short span of time i've found myself with much favour with the opposite sex. (haha. maybe like i told h eiman... i should try un-praying my grandma's prayer that i'll find a guy quickly in my final year and get married when i get back to singapore) unfortunately in the midst of wondering about this 'openness' business i've probably cut off some people during summer. for that i apologise... esp to those who went from 'knowing me' to 'knowing about me'

i found an answer recently... rather... a label for these thoughts - fear of the unknown.
fear of having more drama... more what-ifs... of potentially leading someone on without realising it (sorry guys... girls aren't so straightforward)... of having to say 'no'... or having my heart say yes etc.

...

and ever so slowly i'm coming to a new-found realisation of a fact that has been preached oh-so-many-times... that my identity is in Christ... that God's in control - or in some circles you'd say 'we serve a sovereign God'

which means i can be 'me'... whatever the 'me' means
that i can be real and present. to be free to make mistakes cos Jesus' sacrifice covers each and every bit of my falling short.. even if it affects other people directly - and to know that for each of those individuals that Jesus is Lord over their life as well. all things work for good. even if what i do may cause pain