funny how NIE keeps telling us to reflect... but also gives 30+ assignments to complete in the span of one and a half months. haha.
but i am alive with only two more assignments to go. and back to my random musings online woohoo!
...
i miss being happy-happy:
happy at buying chicken at a discount from sainsburys..
excited at the prospect of cooking a new dish for the week..
excited by so-and-so's invitation to dinner that week
happy to spend time in the word/ with my guitar/ preparing worship
content with spending time with the people i love
enjoying the slacking off
being pleased with the things i managed to get done
content in the knowledge that God provides everything i need
instead... in my head... i have a to-do list
and another list... of what would happen to me if i didn't complete the to-dos... hmm
and i'm verbally reminded of yet another list... of what people should be like to deserve good things from me.
killjoy.
...
here's an example of the joy-stealing that i just observed today:
me: what should i buy X for christmas? what do you think he'll like?
Y: aiyah why bother buying for them? they don't give you presents. don't waste money
me: but it's my pleasure to give...? (deflates)
...
i'm not gonna let you steal my joy.
not now especially.
it's Christmas.
Jesus PAID for it all.
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