i think it's ridiculous that i was in the shower and on the verge of tears while talking to God... when i paused and kept them in check.

and the thought that went through my head was rather pathetic - 'lol... you're in the shower with water running down your face so you wouldn't have to see/ feel the tears of your weakness... and you're still afraid of someone seeing them'

Lord you gotta free me from me man...

that said... i finally have the peace to go to sleep... but boo i have to be up in 4 hours to go to work.

searching... address not found

today's one of those days where i've got nothing to do...

i was worrying about the work i would have to do... and it turned out that the person didn't expect me to do much (praise God haha) - so i came home early and did some housekeeping. i even managed to watch an anime, read a couple chapters of manga, take a nap, go for a run, learn a new song, listen to a couple of sermons...

but something's not settled in my heart (which i have no clue about -.-) and when i'm still and spending time with Jesus the tears come unbidden - life is meant to be much more than this, you are worth more than this, you are no longer the lonely girl hiding in her bedroom, you no longer have anything to fear, I am with you.