lest we forget

every new day is a blessing - tell that to the guy on his deathbed and he'll laugh... cos that blessing stares him in the face each morning

me...? i just got that as a revelation.

i've been stuck, not wanting to move on... not seeing this change as a next level of blessing - and to some extent looking at my walk with God... it feels like two steps backward, not knowing where my place is in the world and having 'the world' leveled at me everyday from the supposed safe confines of my family

...

i was reading the little notes that people wrote to me in london earlier (my shipping's finally arrived - i'm back to pack pack packing heh) and i saw a huuuuge difference in my attitude over there and back here. somehow problems weren't problems and God would take care of them somehow (mainly cos i had absolutely no clue how and didn't have two people trying to provide me with human solutions all the time)... so i was asking God to change my attitude, change how i feel about life, singapore, everything... i've been trying so hard to not be the 'old singapore me' that i've stopped moving forwards while trying to maintain 'london me' in singapore - stopped walking with God as well to be honest, stopped looking to Him to provide and grow me but was looking to myself to 'maintain' me

I got an answer today,

even if i dont like the way things are done or simply have no clue how things are done, God's put me in a place where i get to be involved in (small) people's lives and touch them in a very real way. noob feelings and dislike of the system aside, He's the one who has to empower me. These next 6 years aren't about me serving out my bond cos i have to, but God has a purpose for me being there... and i will be a blessing in one way or another.

...

i'm moving into halls tomorrow - kinda... going down to clean the room, put a sheet on the bed and chuck some sleeping things in the cupboard. i'm pretty excited actually - glad to be away from the parents and on my own again... where i don't lapse into slovenly behaviour just cos i can. i'm sure i'm at home for a reason... well God's put me in my family for a reason defo... i just haven't found it yet. lol!

it's time to take a step forward. cos everyday's a new blessing from God =)