berlin ist sehr kalt (26/3)-day3

woke up in the morning almost-afternoon greeted by mr sunshine... aka. Medusa and was inspired to do weird things to his hair... (those pics are on junli's cam unfortunately...).

we wanted to take the tour to potsdam - out of berlin for the day, but discovered that they didn't run the tours in that season. so it was free & easy again, blessed with awesome weather. took the train to potsdam to explore the place since it was near berlin. what was a potsdam? old palace buildings and park grounds. strangely enough, after taking the bus from the bahnhof (train station) to the palace grounds... the first gate we saw looked exactly like one of my neighbour's gates... hmmm. but the grounds were beautiful... and we spent the day just fooling around and singing songs and relaxing and eating and eating and eating =P

currywurst =)sausage meat shop... yum. i got to try the raw pork on bread thing! can't rmb what it's calledthe indian-looking gate tt's rather similar to my neighbour'swindmilllllltoo pretty a composition to resistrandom shelter-looking thing - that couldn't possibly provide shelterwe were wondering what these were: diseased trees?Lego land: the triangular treeswe were heresurfer boys"oh look the tree is shorter than me!"*boiing*chi dun *boiing*"He was a skater boy, she said 'see ya later boy'..."

as usual... when we saw interesting statues & things... we couldn't help but do weird things with them.. and the boys. well. army boys lah. what to do? [unfortunately eugene's cam ran out of batt... so i couldn't take more videos ='(]

let's take a relaxing batheew. you guys stinkarmy maneuverslicking a 冰棒

and we walked and walked and walked the extensive park grounds to reach one of the palace historical buildings. but it was closed cos it was some seasonal thing. so we walked and walked somemore... and did more random things

cannot go in? no problem. take picture and pretend we did.all hail princess junli!deprived childhood: s'pore got no trees to climb

after walking and walking and walking and walking and walking... we finally got back out of the grounds... and decided to look for ice-cream (as if it wasn't cold enough.) all the small vendor places were closed though, so we went into mövenpick to defrost and have something to eat. but. just outside the restaurant was a kiddy playground - and we couldn't resist (deprived childhood. ahahaha. check out all the happy faces man!)

high-class dining...high-class apple pie & brownie... high-class prices toostop and smell the testtube??

after that we headed back to the bahnhof to find a way to the next stop: the pyramid - which was in the middle of a different park. haha. had a really interesting time waiting for the bus, marching on the spot to keep warm and singing campfire songs (bunch of 5 kuku's we were. =D funness.) by then it was about 7 plus, and we finally got the bus back to the bahnhof to get directions to the pyramid. on the way to the pyramid, we found a kebap kiosk! with a really nice store owner. haha. super funny... as he was trying to ask us where we were from, and if we were studying in the uni in berlin etc. and everyone was looking at me to translate -_-" but i could only understand 10%. oops. the kebap was really good though *drool*.and then fright night began:
the bus dropped us at some ulu road... in a residential area... which was near the park gates, but completely deserted. we somehow found the park gates... and realised they were locked!! and it dawned on me that there were no streetlamps in the park and it was pitch dark. oops. the boys *ahem* began to talk about ghostly things to try to freak us out as well. loll.

i got a revelation about trust then... cos while it was rather worrying - in a foreign land with unknown roads etc. we were still relaxed about well. being lost. and it was faith i think, that He would bring us safely back no matter what. quite amazing that, cos the busstop we dropped at was on a one-way road, so we had to walk to the place before the one-way road began to find the busstop going back to the train station =p.

our dark and lonely busstop4 ghosts 'chers of the futurewhere's that bus??freeeezin and lost in potsdam

got safely back to the train station... and stopped for yet more food (cos junli wanted the toy from the happymeal =P) before taking the train back to our hostel. i learnt how to play loot! and we were playing all the way till past 1am - with beer as the loser's forfeit (lol.) this time, junli was the one who kena... (well that, and she was trying to get me to drink less) and amazingly... she was actually tipsy!! haha "i shall go brush my face and wash my teeth now" =P never seen her so 'seh' before. heh. well... at least if anyone got drunk it'd be in good/ safe company.

and so the day ended... with quiet time (i must say it was very nice to do qt with all the lights off but the reading light above the bed)... and turning off angus' light (yes. again.)

oh yes. sometime when i was going to sleep, a light came on from junli's bed... her ipod light, which she switched off, then got up, went to the loo and came back. [but the next morning she actually asked me 'charity did you help me turn my ipod off and pack the earphones? hahaha gosh.]

=).

rest - is holy spirit directed activity...

lets see...
what to mug.
when to mug.
how to mug.
what to do.
when to do.
how to do.

and the excess baggage has fallen away:
can i finish studying what i planned?
will i not do well if i don't?
am i doing the right thing by keeping on _____ ?
can i continue to resist _____ ?
will ______ lead me to be _____?

so.

does all that matter??

not really.

[but that said. i am burying myself in books and happily mugging. Lord make this revelation remain firm till the end of exams and forever.]

Daddy rox

Daddy rox my sox =P

haha. i was thinking yday that i wanted to go to the park to mug for a change of environment... but it's been not-too-warm + very-windy so that'd mean i had to layer to go out with the intention of staying out

and then i woke up today and saw the weather forecast:
7-19 deg...
that's like summer-ish liao! awesome =)

escapism

escape...
wh00t. into Your arms.
into Your arms.

let's get a new revelation
to relak mug

cos my exams are in Your hands

berlin ist sehr kalt (25/3)-day2

[my very belated post...]

free & easy day... started off super free. we were supposed to leave at 930am and walk slowly to visit the inside of the places we walked past the day before on the tour. BUT. cos most of us were doing quiet time in the morning... we started off with a mini-cg thing...

"so. share what God imparted to you in your qt"
"what are you expecting from God this trip"

and i was super blessed by it. nothing better than good sharing... no. Godly sharing to start off the day =). now this was what i missed most about not being in singapore. not having a group of people to really talk to. not just to complain about the day or things that have happened... or to worry about things to come, but having people around you who would remind you of Jesus, all He has done in your life, the hope you have in the future... and point you to the cross instead of letting you sink deeper and deeper into yourself. awesomely blessed... to have this opportunity to go travelling with this bunch of people.

so. Berlin was forecasted to have snow storms the 4 days we were there... but the 1st day was a perfect sunny day (cold. but sunny.) during the sharing... for the question 'so what are you expecting from God'... ame said 'i want snow'. and snow it did! beautifully... yet light enough so it wasn't a nuisance. we then went to the Berliner Dom (that we saw from the outside the previous day) - and it was so free and so easy that we just stopped to play with snow and take photos =)

you'll never see this in spore ever.evil eugene & the snow mountaingroup photo! (with the church in the background)this reminds me of a korean drama thinghow to resist jumping shots?

and so. instead of queueing up to go to church (hehe..) we had to pay an entrance fee to get in cos it was a tourist attraction. needless to say it was grand.

and yet and yet. looking at it from the outside, then going in, i couldn't help but wonder... why in the world did they build such ornate churches? couldn't the money be used to do something better? was this just glorification of man - that the priests at that time were big-shots or something... who had the power and authority to 'show off'...

or looking at it - was i supposed to be happy? happy that the church was big enough to require a large building... was this a reflection of God's blessing on the church? no doubt it was really affluent then. i couldn't decide...many interesting conversations as we climbed to the top of the dome to check out the view. with an interesting staircase experience - cos the stairs weren't made for more than one person to climb at a time and there were people coming down the stairs as we went up (had to squeeze onto this small landing platform to wait for people to pass. lol)... also... i was thinking that it would be quite amusing if someone attempted suicide from the top of the dome (it's taller than 7 storeys i think =P) haha... come to church to pray for deliverance... then see how beautiful it is, get depressed cos you're poor... then commit suicide... whoops. defeated purpose here.
we were then running late from what we had planned... so skipped the national museum building tt was next to the church and went on a hunt for the 'pasar malam' we spied on the walking tour (some tentage that is.) but but. we walked and walked and walked... and at alexander platz found that the tentage was probably something part of the shop that we mistook for a pasar malam thing. oops. by then it was close to 2pm and we were hungryy... and then God led us to this cool Bavarian restaurant... check out the food *drool*

crispy pork knuckle (Bavarian style)pork knuckle in the style of the Berlin areaassortment of sausages (bratwurst!!)happy anticipatory faces =D

next stop after we were filled was the jewish museum. they had a special exhibition going on - on cliches over the years... mainly dealing with jews & christians. the exhibits were... strange to say the least. but oh so true.

guess what this is...curly hair...? hmmmm..."Israeli artist Tamir Lahav-Radlmesser asked friends and acquaintences throughout the world for samples of their pubic hair. ...humourous portraits whose uniformity thwarts any attempt to draw inferences about the individuals portrayed."you dig my nose and i'll dig yours XD"Dennis Kardon responded to the stereotype of a 'Jewish nose' by multiplying it... The result is a sculpture of forty-nine 'Jewish noses' that challenges the cliché... show(ing) the absurdity of such thinking."all the skin-tones of the people in the world

we took.. really long at the extra exhibition - really took our time there - but finally went on to other parts of the building. one was this dark cold room with a single source of light - where they put you in there for 10 sec and let you reflect on history and the deaths. smart i say. a really cheap exhibit to maintain... and really ... the experience of being cold, what with the sensory deprivation... claustrophobia of circumstance.

then there was the garden of exile... with alot of concrete pillars out in the cold. walking through it made me wonder whether the jewish artists really liked concrete or something. that. and the other exhibits took so much time that we didn't get to see the full permanent exhibit - only saw the back half of it, recovering of the community after the Holocaust (ohwell.) but the whole thing was rather poignant... and really made me reflect.

completely unrelated to reflection... this really reminded me of the walls in CS =Pplease donate to charity...extra exhibit 1: act daoextra exhibit 2: bored.

the exhibit that really captured me, though, was this:
"Menashe Kadishman's installation 'Shalechet' is first a memorial to the Holocaust. But he reaches beyond this and dedicates it to all innocent victims of violence and war. He requests that visitors walk upon the work. The title 'fallen leaves' raises suggestions both of negative predestination and of hope for new life in the coming spring"


hear the wailing cries of the dead
the screams of the innocent - unheard.
watch. as we tread over them, forgotten
building our lives upon their misery.
listen.
lest we forget.

---

then we went into the museum gift shop... and i saw this notebook... that i really really wanted to buy. but it was so expensive 0_o... 8 euros... and i was giam siap and decided not to get it. aww.

when we came out of the museum... it was snowing again!
so pretty =)
dandruff?

decided to 'try our luck' to go to parliment house and check out the night view from the dome... it was pretty late and the place closed at 10pm, but cos we were so cold... we decided to head into dunkin' doughnuts for a snack before proper dinner (and warm up). 'cos we were so 'chill' about time, we ended up reaching the parliment house 15 min before 10... where the people outside told us that it was closing and that it would be impossible to get in. junli... the woman of faith... was amazing... and psycho-ed us... just do the singaporean thing, queue, and see whether we get in. if we can't then too bad. (amazing again, that everyone was relaxed... even queueing lol. trust God to get us in =P)

fattening fooood! *yum* distracted by the Brandenburg Gate (Brandenburger Tor) on the way to parliment housethe flag outside parlimentview from the domeseats of parlimentwaiting-for-train faces

went back happy and satisfied... and went to get dinner from the mexican restaurant across the road from the hostel - awesome company, awesome food =).



went back at the end of the day to use our one-for-one beer vouchers at the bar in the hostel... and everyone being non-drinkers well... ended up playing uno to force-feed the beer lol. and i kena so many times -_-". i think i drank one litre... that is, the one big mug in the pic. before/during: after:
so half tipsy... went to do qt and ended the day -again- turning off angus' reading light.

last OCF of the school term

say goodbye to the old generation:say hello to the new!:

jason's trying to 'pick melvin up' (with chopsticks -_-")

so we were doing Hebrews... finishing up chapter 12 and moving on to 13 and i was struck by this
Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:
~Hebrews 12:14

and how do we do this?
looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God;
which results in...
lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;
~Hebrews 12:15

how to fall short of the grace of God??
lets see... to fall short of the law... we fail to keep it. (and we see this over and over in the bible)
but to fall short of grace... when grace is all encompassing all forgiving? it's when we end up going back to the law... and get ourselves bound again.

i guess it just struck me cos it's exam period again - and well. being me, i tend to look at myself, how much revision is there left, i can't remember, i can't finish -> panic panic panic -> procrastinate -> panic panic panic -> repeat. (so where's God in this picture?)

sin = falling short of God's perfection
grace = resting in God's perfect work

falling short of grace => depending on ourselves... leading to us falling short of God's perfection ->being caught in the grips of sin

hmm. Daddy holds my life, my exam grades in His hands. =)

carefree living...?

Lord, my heart is not proud;
my eyes are not haughty.
I don’t concern myself with matters too great
or too awesome for me to grasp.

Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—
now and always.

~Psalm 131 (NLT)

.. facing the world with the innocence of a child.
and yet with hunger for solid food of the word...

hmmm.
i just found this interesting...
Baby-led weaning (often also referred to as BLW) is a method of gradually weaning a baby from a milk diet onto solid foods.

Your baby may be ready to start solids if she:
• can hold her head up
• sits well when supported
• makes chewing motions
• has gained a healthy weight
• displays curiosity about what you're eating.

when we hold our head up - as Daddy's children?
sit - rest well when supported by Him
has gained a healthy weight - being made healthy and whole
displays curiosity... to feed on the word for yourself
- and then we feed for ourselves.


having reached that stage...
all we need is to just stay there?
"I don’t concern myself with matters too great
or too awesome for me to grasp."
awesome.

dealing with...

so i've become really concientious in blogging...
probably due to a combination of the influence of mr vain pot...
and the fact that i'm mugging and have nowhere to run away from my thoughts.
[that. and i'm procrastinating the post about berlin cos i need to photoshop photos]

so. in the shower i was thinking that Daddy was doing some major refurbishment in His temple (my life).. and i'll just name a few areas tt came to mind immediately... (as proof? lol)

-pride-
i was wondering why i get so affected when things don't go the way i planned them to.. or how i feel inferior to people who are doing 'this & that'... and i realised that slowly slowly that is changing. to be secure in His work instead of my own... that's the ideal i guess. pride - is that faulty assurance that as long as you put in your effort you'll get something out of it - and then there's that ultimate drop as you realise you cannot attain what you thought you could. unfortunate that. to actually be born smart... believing i could take on the world with what 'God gifted me with', forgetting how much greater He is.

-trust-
in Daddy first and foremost... and then learning to trust those around me again.
so i was brought up to think that people were out to get me and i couldn't trust anyone outside of the family or i'd get hurt. and then i got hurt by the family: trust no-one. let no one see your hopes, your dreams. let no one see your pain... nor the anguish that that loneliness brings. i do believe that my concept of strength at one point was 'don't let anyone in, if no one can get in, no one can hurt you... don't let anyone see you cry, you can face the world with a smile.. even if it be a mask'... and it makes it all the harder for me to lean on Daddy God instead of depending on myself - well. still learning.

-fear-
of being inadequate, of others' opinions, of losing out (kiasu lol.), of being laughed at etc. (which translates physically into not daring to open up to people i deem 'better' 'more talented' and 'able to look down on me' without an inordinate amount of time... and that need to defend all that i do... to show that i'm well. 'great' as well.)
of myself... and the things i'm able to do when i'm at my wits end.
essentially - fear of life, of living, of having to face the next day. and the next. and the next.
haha. and it boils down to trust again... trust in Daddy... having hope - a good opinion of Him, the knowing that He holds my world, He's in control, and He will never ever harm me.


lots more... some that i'm not aware of at all
i think... i'm learning to be me.

[random imagination: God with a checkboard and a list of 'things-to-do'... "Charity learns to smile at strangers" *check*]

can... can...

"O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting."

~Psalm 139

how can...

1 day... study 1 page...
wahlao.

---

woke up this morning afternoon feeling completely defeated. (it was a productive mugging night at least...) despairing of... dunnowhat.
if not for 大哥angus being in my room i would have just rolled over and told the day to go away till i was ready to face it.

i think i've maxed out my people quota...
must go spend some quality time with Daddy.

i so cannot study... (or do anything for that matter.. can't even be me..) when all i can see are the mountains before me but not the big big God who promised He'd move them... breaking... that i am.

i shall leave off the books for today. get this head of mine screwed on the right way first.

---

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
I know everthing is alright

Everything is alright
Everything is alright
~'Storm' by Lifehouse

5 reasons why angus is char bo.

to get back at him posting 3 reasons why i'm man...

1. he looks in the mirror more times in a day than i do [vain pot.]

2. the vain pot has long curling eyelashes (waay longer than mine)

3. the (wo)man noticed sophia's shoes and commented they were nice

4. he has more piercings than me (lol.)

5. we had a discussion about the anime 'Ouran High School Host Club' and *ahem* who would be a nice guy to marry (that is. if he were a gal.)

all in a day's night's worth of mugging

but it's true. i guess that's why we can 'click'...

methinks...

that it's a new season...

and everyone seems to be going through the same kind of journeys (no doubt in different extents and in different scenarios...) with the same kind of problems... and the same breaking of flesh... into the next realm we go...

goodness.
new revelation to come i suppose.
[yours truely is no exception]

with hope

i was just thinking about the song by steven curtis chapman in the shower..

And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you

But we can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again

i love the many different interpretations his songs give... saying goodbye in so many different ways to so many different things - but in the context of the full song... it's saying goodbye to a loved one (in death). i was searching for the song on youtube to put here.. and the number of people who've used it as a tribute to someone who'd passed away was astounding.



and then i wondered. is there such a thing as a beautiful funeral?
(like a beautiful wedding... perhaps)
joy in sadness (like when the dad gives the daughter away)
would a beautiful funeral be filled with smiling faces?
faces filled with the joy of the Lord...
with the knowing of a better place...
with hope.

insatiable

Jesus & me, we make the majority.
take courage... and go forth!

i was reading old old emails & letters... (procrastination. hah.) and was amazed at what God has done in my life... talk about transformation =P. awesomeness. that it's transformation ongoing.

i wanna be more like You =)
Lord break this flesh
re-focus me
and let me be the blessing You've called me to be

more.
more. more.
more.
till i'm completely surrendered to You.

spring...?

i have been mugging... muchly...
and thinking about stuff... muchly
but i can't remember what it was that i wanted to blog about yday
just that it snowed -.-""



and that somehow everytime doing serious stuff with angus...
we end up doing crazy stuff =P

being sidetracked from worship prac:

i'm from raffles and you're not!

back-view

rafflesian-the-muggertoad

i don't care about the shoe - i rather read the dictionary (yeah right. lol)

and recently in this mugging season:

angus is now on pentium I processing power: entering sleep mode "is my room warm or is it just me?" "of course it's warm. i'm in it!"

too similar & similarly crazy liao...
thank God for putting a bro like you in london^^ otherwise no one to be siao with. lol.