please...

please don't hurt me.

please..

on a whim...

i went shopping with heiman and christine... didn't manage to get christmas pressies... but i bought one for myself lol =P $23.90 well spent though i must say. i now have trees and some animals on my wall =) heh. and when i FINALLY hang that mirror that i bought... it can go into the gap between trees... naise

joy to the world

funny how NIE keeps telling us to reflect... but also gives 30+ assignments to complete in the span of one and a half months. haha.
but i am alive with only two more assignments to go. and back to my random musings online woohoo!

...

i miss being happy-happy:

happy at buying chicken at a discount from sainsburys..
excited at the prospect of cooking a new dish for the week..
excited by so-and-so's invitation to dinner that week

happy to spend time in the word/ with my guitar/ preparing worship
content with spending time with the people i love
enjoying the slacking off
being pleased with the things i managed to get done
content in the knowledge that God provides everything i need

instead... in my head... i have a to-do list
and another list... of what would happen to me if i didn't complete the to-dos... hmm
and i'm verbally reminded of yet another list... of what people should be like to deserve good things from me.


killjoy.

...

here's an example of the joy-stealing that i just observed today:
me: what should i buy X for christmas? what do you think he'll like?
Y: aiyah why bother buying for them? they don't give you presents. don't waste money
me: but it's my pleasure to give...? (deflates)

...


i'm not gonna let you steal my joy.
not now especially.
it's Christmas.
Jesus PAID for it all.