procrastination

i have an essay to do, and i need to take a nap... therefore i am blogging
(awesome reasoning skills eh?)

point form for events:
1. i went to a halloween boat party 7-11pm yday after a 10am to 7pm day and it was actually fun. [photos to come when i'm back from my trip!]
2. it snowed (in october... 0.0)
3.worship prac was interesting today cos my voice isn't quite right from being sick the past couple of days. BUT. omg i have discovered talent! titus is damn good at piano... although he says he can't improv... but he's actually really good. tsk.
4. i just found out the weather forecast for krakow and prague is actually pretty warm so i'm not gonna freeze and die during reading week! (maybe cos all the cold winds came here... hmm) well by warm i mean above 8 degC

...

i was just thinking tt it's kinda sad that i haven't talked to a lot of people in quite a long time. properly that is. it's kinda interesting... like how water flows through a pipe... a brief touch & connection, then it's gone, an then it touches the next bit of pipe. aside from the house people that's what it's been for relationships in and out of london - odd. a momentary 'hi, how are you', an action, then the next day it's a new person and a different situation.

what's my life revolving around i wonder...
everyday there's so many things to do, to think about, to take care of the house and the house's people... work, ministry... i wonder if i sometimes kick Jesus out of the picture.

...

wanna thank God for putting ken and gordon into this house & in my life. it's so amazing to be able to talk about Jesus, about ministry... people... about lives, about lives we see transformed, about guiding people. (yeah house situation is still ongoing... though the specifics have changed). even more amazing... that it happens breakfast lunch dinner... and whenever. rox. i don't even get to do that back home except during church camp... if this is what paul means by edifying your brothers in Christ in fellowship, count me in man.

...

and gordon really piqued my interest about me this morning (gosh i sound so self-centred)...
ken was saying that he couldn't see me as anything else but a leader and that i would have to marry a pastor or something [we were digressing from talking about relationships and 'the season' and being led by the Spirit lol.] then gordon said something to the effect of 'but i see two sides of you, the facade that is responsible and strong..the leader.. and the other one that isn't... that's just you. but you keep the strong and responsible one up more, isn't that tiring...? is it?'

my reply? 'of course it is'
but now that i'm thinking about it... i guess strong and responsible is still the 'main' part of me... not just something i maintain - being tired comes into play when i've lost focus from Jesus... strong and responsible still occur when i'm 'crazy me' - but i guess that only a select few people see me when i'm down and out... or maybe it's by force of habit - no, you can't be weak, take control of your life or it'll take control of you... and in that case, maybe i haven't really settled down properly in london, for the people that i can be a sheep to are still few and far between.

and i should go nap and do my essay. (would be nice if i could do both at once eh.)