in faith

here i am at the end of a rather painfully tiring week.
and i've finished:
1 lab report (worth 12.5% of my final module grade)
1 stats exam (worth 50%)
1 computing project (worth 50%)

not that it was 'really busy' or anything (only non-stop work). just that i keep forgetting that i'm the child of God. i get what Jesus deserves... and it isn't about striving - doing everything everyone else is doing... getting stressed along with everyone else. but it's about dwelling in Him, feeding on Him, following Him, doing His work... and I'll see His abundant blesings chase after me. that my work will prosper cos of His favour and grace... not measured by whether i put in that one iota more of effort into a paper.

i'm in for another amazing week:
1 computing exam (worth 50%)
the start of my mini-project (worth 50%)
...should really get started on some reading lol.
woohoo. so Lord i claim by faith that i'll remember Your grace in the coming week

the last bit of this post was supposed to go up on wednesday... but then the pekchek day occurred. and then i wanted to post it on thursday... but something strange happened. for the first time in some time i felt the flesh really erupt. and by that i mean erupt. basically i was trying to finish the computing report... so for the whole week, every break i had went to doing the programming (cos i can't do it at home). wednesday was pekchek day, thursday... i stayed to do it but got chased out cos there were first year labs... as usual.

nevermind that, i managed to get the comps before the class at 2pm and snuck in at around 4pm when the class was ending. so i was finishing the last bits of the program and feeling happy that the whole ordeal was finally ending... showed it to my friend... and her mentee saw it and asked me for help. she was doing the same project... but only just started that week - therefore was VERY stressed. and i spent a rather long time explaining bits to her instead of doing work. therefore by the end of the day i was tired (explaining is hard work, harder than thinking)... and not as accomplished as i would have liked to be.

went home and made coffee chicken for dinner... and embarked on a kitchen cleaning spree... which lasted all of four hours. so i was tired... and ken came back and was being ken... and i snapped. consumed by an overwhelming loneliness, unfulfillment and lack of purpose. and as he continued being annoying... there was this other overwhelming urge to punch him in the face. (i can't quite believe myself reading this... cos it's so not me. but it happened.) so i shut down, shut out and couldn't bring myself to blog anymore. couldn't quite believe what i had almost done... but i was seething. it was so weird... being angry... never really felt anything like that before.

...

anyway, i'm gonna claim stuff in faith. (finally.)
so everyone, say 'amen' in faith with me k?

1. i have first class honours in my work and exams
2. my eyesight is 500deg in Jesus name
3. i have favour with my project mentor in Jesus name
4. i will take time to love people and be unafraid of rejection cos Jesus loved me
5. i am 54kg and have toned (unflabby) legs/arms in Jesus name
6. i remember that i am not consumed by work and fear but by His love and strength in all that i do
7. i am waaayy too blessed in Jesus name =)

amen?

amen!