my mom would probably say something like that...
i feel like i have 2 personalities heh. there's me and there's charity
charity doesn't come out often... she only dares to when it's heidi and company or people in the caregroup. charity's fun and vaguely hyper and does stupid things... haha and pose for crazy photos in photoshoots... charity takes the time to love people too.
me on the other hand well... i am reserved, serious and responsible, the one who supposedly makes things better...the one who 'can handle it'... i end up staring into space instead of talking to people, i don't seem to have the time to just be with people and love them... to spend time with them... i fight with ghosts of the past and the skeletons in the closet... then in that span of time wonder why the rest of the world seems to be oceans away
then it comes together sometimes... where i know that for all my shortcomings i am accepted by God through Christ...and i'm sort freed to be both at the same time...
i wish i could hold that all the time... but either charity or me takes over expecially when with the class
but i know at least that Jesus loves me... and that is enough for now... the rest will come with time. no one said life would be smooth sailing, only that He would be there all the way
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