today... i got observed in class. that was... terrible i might say. being observed under nie guidelines without even knowing what they were. they weren't hard on me though... and i'm thankful for that. i've just got a looooooong way to go with teaching. lesson planning, classroom management, presentation of materials, being able to explain things in nibbles (primary school... not even bite sized pieces)
honestly. right now it's hard to hold on to 'God has me set up for greatness'. 'n00b' is the only thing that is going through my head. don't like being noob. especially when it actually counts for something.
and noob is the very feeling that has been permeating almost everything since i've come home. noob in relating to sinagporeans (even though i've done it for the better part of my life), noob in teaching, noob in school, noob in the workplace environment, oh and noob at being in a relationship, noob at balancing my adulthood with being parented.
tisn't change. tis CHANGE.
waaaaaaaay out of comfort zone i am. and i keep trying to retreat to it by becoming who i used to be... cos who i used to be used to feel comfortable. and yet. the now-me isnt comfortable with who i used to be. neither is it comfortable with the parental idea of 'being a scholar means that they track you'.
help Daddy.
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