eyes on the prize

these last two weeks have been incredibly exciting/ challenging/ heart-stopping/ painful/ crazy.

every step of the way i've realised tt i really can't make it through my own efforts... they'll just never be good enough.

like...
-the standard of the exam paper i set
-what people think of me at work
-how i manage expectations & people (this one really really need grace man)
-how i really don't have it all together and tend to screw up in the little things


then there were the 'what-ifs' that came to my mind this week, wondering how things would have turned out if i had made a decision back then out to say i felt rather than following my fear of the consequences - to put my heart out there and trust God to keep it safe rather than trying to guard it all by myself


but Jesus really comes through in times like these. saw it in the grace and the favour extended at work... in the stability of my heart in those broken moments where i had to come to terms with my shortcomings... in peaceable resolution of conflict in the times where i couldn't cope...

so i'll keep my eyes on the prize... Jesus Christ... and He'll come through for me.

let my steps be directed by God's will and not mine. and i'll surrender that person who managed get in so deep in my heart (without me realising it till now) to my First Love... and trust that His plans for me will always work out for good and for His glory.

happy unbirthday!

my birthday passed... in a flurry of activity and no great presents or celebration or whatever. boring right? the actual day itself was DISGUSTINGLY BUSY.

that said, all the well wishes and random remarks made it bearable... and my kids waited quietly in class just to wish me happy birthday =) so sweet right? to those who remembered and made a point to say something/ do something - you made my day =)

and to God... who orchestrated a leaders meeting that was sprung on me at the last minute in the midst of the business - thank You... i absolutely needed that to refocus and keep sane.

well for now the term madness and exam madness has ended (hooray it's the march holidays!). i can finally breathe again and enjoy my year-older-status heh.