love is in the air

you know that school has kicked in when your calendar doesn't just say 'do readings for project/ lecture x' but begins to have an hour by hour plan for the day. or worse still... days ahead. today was probably my first day like that though lessons have been on for two weeks now.

9am -> 2 hours of lecture, 1 hour seminar with tutor, 2 hour meeting with project mentor, go home to grab books to sell to juniors/ back to school to pass books, grab lunch, be a lab rat for junior, an hour or so trying to wrap my brain around the project and what the mentor said -> 5pm hurrah. then finally a break before dinner... 7pm -> hebrew class (where i got totally pwned and felt completely stupid) -> 9pm therefore i'm blogging now cos every fibre of my being is rejecting anything that has to do vaguely with university before i sleep.

anyway.
...

i've been thinking a lot about love these two weeks... about how it's seemingly 'the season to get attached' for so many people. conversations with old friends/ people i haven't spoken to in a while inevitably have 'so, are you attached now?' or 'how is your bf/ gf?' when nothing like that would appear just a couple of years ago. haha. somehow that makes me wonder if i'll get together with anyone in the near future - preferably without any more of the emo drama that has happened in the last few years. unlikely though... since we're all human.

what g ordon said the other day was most profound:
being in love with someone and loving someone are two completely different things. being in love is easy. loving someone on the other hand...

i totally agree. i've liked (fallen for??) a couple of people over the years, but i have yet to learn to love - or perhaps i'm simply afraid to allow myself to be in the situation to do so. for that matter... sometimes i think i probably still can't love myself, much less love someone else. so... will i get attached in the near future? probably not until i learn to love (or until i meet a person i'll take the plunge for... haha shouldn't speak too soon yeah?) and yet some days i wonder if i have missed chances simply because i'm running away and whether there'll be more 'potentials' in the future.

but hey. where does God fit into the picture?
in fact... shouldn't this picture be fitting around God?

God is love. the one and only love that satisfies.
love that will cause me and whoever it is to cross paths
love that gives me favour with the person
love that will cause me to be able to love
love that will allow me to commit to love
love that provides wisdom for the decision
love that will never let me go
love that is always present
love that is there no matter what the decision
love that is.