NIE is over and my life is now chill and empty.... not. but I have time to write about things again rather than just running through all that needs to be done =)
last friday was my last day as a trainee in Rosyth.. and I was so in awe... cos i only taught my kids for 10 weeks, pulled out my hair over their behaviour... said hi to them on corridors, put an arm around a few... scolded them for making noise, marked their work, scolded them for their work, did corrections, broke up petty quarrels... hid in the staffroom to maintain sanity and adult contact. and yet and yet I came away with a large amount of thank-you cards, a couple of very sad faces and hugs. wow.i guess i'm in the right profession after all (and after all the angst over having to come back to singapore to do something i dont really believe in)... if i am able to let these kids know that they're wanted and their existence is precious to me.
i'm sold Lord. haha. You know what's best.
last week up to now has been an incredible journey though. thank God i'm at least freer now to really spend time with God =P.
the lives of the people in my cg have become very 'drama' in the last two weeks - or perhaps the drama has just come to light... with all the emotions being exposed over family, relationships, other issues that people are struggling with. i'm.. at a loss as to how to react/ be there/ support... and to some extent i have a lack of understanding of the pain (or a denial of understanding cos i don't want to delve into my own brokenness and face my own inadequacies)
just this morning one of the girls' cousin passed away - sudden relapse, sudden death. there is nothing that can be said in the face of such grief... cos it's not alright, and it never will be.. and i have to face my own helplessness in the whole situation, cos all we can do is be there and watch and wait. and a wall has come up preventing me from speaking into her life that God has to remove first i think. i am mad though. mad at the devil's attempt to turn us away from God and towards the situations. but i can only pray, that the light of God's victory will be more salient in each and every person's mind rather than the darkness of the world. i can only pray for strength to face the situation, wisdom in my actions and speech as i am in contact with each of them.. and pray to be used.
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~Romans 8:38-39
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