closet elmo

leaving for london this year is different.

it's not not that i don't want to go... heh. i love london to bits. and my calling for the season is there... so much so that for the last month i've been looking forward to life in london even while in sg. i guess it's simply the place where i'm actually 'of use' and blessing people rather than simply being present


but going means too many things this time around...

leaving people behind - it only struck me this year how fast people's lives move on... how the population has increased by 1 mil in 2 years 0_o. being gone one year was fine... but in two years you somehow get half erased from people's lives. summer was spent trying to get to know people properly again - and finally 'integrating back' it's time to go again. shucks

the end - graduate, leave london, new season.
somehow i don't wanna have so much change anymore... i've given up a piece of myself to each new person i've met in the last two years (to different degrees of closeness)... a part to each place i've visited and things i've done.

yeah sure. there are new and exciting things coming.. things that Daddy intend to bless me with - and i'll enjoy them... but bits of me have been left behind and are going to be left behind for good in the near future. honestly, that's frightening... even knowing that God's in control [lol. i'd say it's exciting on a good day... but it's not that easy to move on]



ah i found a word for it..
bittersweet.