when there's just the water the soap and Jesus there's nothing much else to do but think. and the byproduct of thinking half the time is strange questions that i have no answer to.
for example, how do you raise a child to understand that love is free but doesn't come cheap. that only by giving can you receive something in return. and that money can't buy anything of real worth at all... but can be used to bless people (worth more than anything money can buy)?
......
anyway in cg today we were talking about addiction... and doing some sharing - what is your response to boredom/ loneliness.. and what do you do to fill the gap? during the whole time i just couldn't think of a thing i'm really addicted to... all the addiction seems seasonal... like anime to fill time during holidays... being 'addicted' to studying when it's exam period... addicted to meeting and talking to people cos it's summer and i haven't seen them for so long - things that basically come and go (although i must admit that they do have a hold on me... many times undesirably so)
then i just realised in the shower that yeah. there has been major addiction... a rather long time back. an addiction to pain. an addiction to the identity of being unreachable, untouchable, always in pain, emo, self-harm etc etc. interesting how i completely forgot about it... considering i was toying with the idea of blogging on that topic a couple weeks back. oh the wonders of a shower. lol
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