at the end

of the year of new beginnings...

and new beginnings it has been, from restoration last year to the new me and growth in God this year.

it's been slightly over a year since i started blogging, and somehow it's become simpler to talk about the inane to people i don't know... as always, 31 december is the time to read back on past journal entries and reflect and ask God and expect the blessings for the next year. only this time on this blog... it's gonna be public for people to see.

i've grown... much more than i thought this year

from thoughts of 9/2/07
revelations of God's love... 10/3/07
revelations of myself in Christ 12/4/07
and the turning point where i was free to share 18/4/07

growing from a dependence on church services 14/5/07 to learning to seek Him on my own, moments of His presence, on the bus/ in class/ in my room
revelations of growth 13/6/07... and learning to learn to trust in Him and begin to walk in it
the uni/ scholarhip application process, the pain/ stress etc.

the decision to come to london..
learning to hold on to dreams, to hold on to pomises even when all the applications went wrong...
16/8/07 - catching a glimpse of what faith really is

then facing a completely new world in london
new friends... new relationships - thank God for you all.
then what just happened not long ago in dec where i lost sight of God's provision and began to worry about my decisions, my work... seeking assurance and finding none... wondering how come my dreams, my hopes were not being realised... why i didn't seem to have anyone to really talk to... stuck in my mind with the same movie playing over and over.

and then where i am now...
looking back with a new realisation of what it really means to trust in God... what it means to say 'the joy of the Lord is my strength', getting strength from the knowledge that Daddy God delights in me and wants to spend time with me - not focusing on the circumstances.
and a new appreciation of being cared for - hope and appreciation for the parents as i realise the difference in security when i'm with them

life is a sinusoidal curve really...

with child-like vision... and ultimate trust in God...
come the moments where i capture that
life is awe-inspiring. every word, every image, every person is just such a blessing from God.

and when i lose that
the darker moments where my thoughts are like headless chickens running around my head


2008.
will be a year of blessings, of favour.
a year of greater revelation of Jesus.

i choose to believe that i will impact lives, not just be a passing friend
i choose to believe that He guides my every step
i choose to believe that He holds my future
i choose to rest.